Worst Jokes Ever

Why can't orphans be gay?

They have no one to call daddy.

NASA stands for Need Another Seven Astronauts.

What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? An envelope.

Why did the Mexican get put on anxiety meds?

Because of Hispanic attacks.

I finally stopped drinking for good.

Now I purely drink for evil.

A friend of mine loves to play Roulette, so I decided to introduce him to Russian Roulette. It blew his mind.

Alcoholics don't run in my family, they drive!

Two atoms were walking on a street. One atom said to the other: "I'm feeling really positive today," and the other replied: "I know. I stole your electron." Then the first atom said "How Ionic."

A: She looks good when she opens her hair. 😮

B: You will look good when you open your wallet. 👛

If you think about it, taking candy from a baby is good because candy is bad for babies.

Don't worry if you think your life sucks. Just remember that people are arguing over the gender of a potato head.

It has been rumored that Disney is developing a movie based on suicide. The title?

Finding Emo.

What do you call Hitler in a pool? Adolfin.

What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?

The apple gets picked.

The toaster;

otherwise known as, the ultimate bath bomb.

Hey, wanna hear a construction joke?

Other person: Yes.

Sorry, I'm still working on it! 😅

What is the worst thing about breaking up with a Japanese girl?

You need to drop the bomb twice on her before she gets it.

There are only 363 days in a year for orphans because Mother's Day and Father's Day don't count.

Me: Brings in missing child.

Police: OMG this kid has been missing for 3 months. Here is your reward.

Me: Oh, cool.

NEXT DAY

Me: Brings in 8 other kids.

Police :0 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What’s one good thing about pedophiles?

They drive slow in school zones.