Worst Jokes Ever

What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? An envelope.

Why can't orphans be gay?

They have no one to call daddy.

NASA stands for Need Another Seven Astronauts.

I finally stopped drinking for good.

Now I purely drink for evil.

Why did the Mexican get put on anxiety meds?

Because of Hispanic attacks.

Alcoholics don't run in my family, they drive!

A friend of mine loves to play Roulette, so I decided to introduce him to Russian Roulette. It blew his mind.

Two atoms were walking on a street. One atom said to the other: "I'm feeling really positive today," and the other replied: "I know. I stole your electron." Then the first atom said "How Ionic."

A: She looks good when she opens her hair. 😮

B: You will look good when you open your wallet. 👛

Me: Brings in missing child.

Police: OMG this kid has been missing for 3 months. Here is your reward.

Me: Oh, cool.

NEXT DAY

Me: Brings in 8 other kids.

Police :0 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Don't worry if you think your life sucks. Just remember that people are arguing over the gender of a potato head.

It has been rumored that Disney is developing a movie based on suicide. The title?

Finding Emo.

What do you call Hitler in a pool? Adolfin.

What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?

The apple gets picked.

The toaster;

otherwise known as, the ultimate bath bomb.

Hey, wanna hear a construction joke?

Other person: Yes.

Sorry, I'm still working on it! 😅

What is the worst thing about breaking up with a Japanese girl?

You need to drop the bomb twice on her before she gets it.

There are only 363 days in a year for orphans because Mother's Day and Father's Day don't count.

What’s one good thing about pedophiles?

They drive slow in school zones.

Sunday. Monday. Tuesday. What the fuck? Saturday.