Worst Jokes Ever
Jack and Jill went up a hill
To pick some dill.
Jack slid down the hill and hurt his leg of skill,
And he needed a painkiller pill.
What’s yellow and can’t swim?
A school bus full of children.
What's the difference between a dead baby and an orange?
I don't keep a trash bag full of oranges in my basement.
I can't wait to see Uranus! 😂
Q. What did the math book say to the other math book?
A. I have too many problems.
What is the definition of a woman?
A life support system for a vagina.
What did Spock encounter in the Enterprise toilet?
The Captain's Log.
If you drink hand sanitizer, does it only kill 99.9% of you?...........💀
What did Sally say when she was stuck in the water with kelp?
"I need kelp! KELPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP"
A student got a bad letter grade, so the next day he came back with his own letter grade in his backpack: an A-K47.
God: (creating elephants) Make it big.
Angel: How big?
God: As big as my d--
Angel: Whoa!
God: Fine, 10 feet tall.
Angel: That's big bu--
God: Put a long thing on its face.
There were three boys on the top of a slide.
The first one went down yelling "gold!" and landed in a pot of gold. The second boy went down and shouted "pillows!" and landed in a heap of pillows. The final boy went down and shouted "weeeeeeeee!"
What do shemales and barns have in common?
Cocks.
Have you heard about the corduroy pillow cases? They've been making headlines.
Communism jokes aren't funny unless everyone gets it.
What is similar about the feelings of a girl's birth daddy and her new pimp daddy?
They both worry about how she will turn out!
A man walks into a bar with an alligator. He says to the bartender, "I have a deal, if I can hold my dick in the alligator's mouth for a minute without it biting, you owe me one drink." And so the bartender agreed.
The man, like he said, had his dick in the alligator's mouth for one minute without it biting, and the bartender gave him a drink. He made another deal, but for two minutes and for two drinks. Sure enough, he was able to do it and he drank his drinks. Then he did it for five minutes and five drinks. He did it and drank his drinks. Then he said to the amazed crowd, "Would anyone like to volunteer?" One man raised his hand. He walked up to the man with the alligator and said, "Just a warning, I don't think I can hold my mouth open that long."
Have you walked into Steven Hawking's house yet?
Yeah, neither has he.
Little boy: Are you an orphan?
Orphan: Yes, what gave me away?
Little boy: Your parents.
Do nothing about people falling down the stairs, it will keep happening.
Put razor blades on the stairs, it will be their last time falling down the stairs.