Worst Jokes Ever

It said to submit a joke, and that's what my mom did when I was born.

My heart is like a plane.

It crashes every once in a while.

"Immobile" means "I'm mobile" in my books.

I'm a big fan of white boards; they're remarkable.

My friend texted me and asked me, "Hey. What's your favorite emoji?"

I said, "😬😬😬😬😬😬😬"

She said, "Why?"

I said, "'Cause it's your twin."

Why don’t they let Stephen Hawking have other electronics around him? Because he will sound staticky.

What do you call a chill transgender?

Fictional.

What did the banana say to the peel?

“Let’s split!”

What did Allah say when he created the universe?

-Allahu akbar!!!

I'll never forget my mother's last words: "What are you doing with that sledgehammer?"

Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere.

Your mama is so fat that when she was playing online, she crashed the whole server.

I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.

What do you get when you cross a highway on a bike?

Run over.

I love breakups. My ex-girlfriends always end up in pieces.

This one is for Gwen, I'm sorry people are so mean to you.

All the big cats gathered for a game of poker. Why did the tiger lose?

Because one of his opponents kept on lion. Another had a puma-nent poker face. But the real problem was the cheetah.

What's an orphan's most hated show?

The Fosters.

*trigger alert*

Why did the racist cop shut down the space brothel?

Because there were too many black holes.

Yo mama is so skinny, she makes friends with a snake.

I'd hit you, but if I did, I'd go to jail for animal abuse.

A chopper full of white people is also called a helicopter.

A chopper full of black people is called a hellacopter.