Worst Jokes Ever
Why did Steven Hawking die?
His wife changed the WiFi password.
Q: What do you say to a kid who threatens to beat you up?
A: We can always rearrange your liver 😏
Your forehead built like Darkseid from DC.
What do you call a dino stripper?
A dinohore.
What's a word that starts with "m" and ends in "airage" and all men like it?
Miscarriage. The joke never gets old just like the baby.
What's the most expensive haircut?
Chemotherapy.
On a scale of 1 to America, how free are you tonight?
Why did the orphan wait in line?
To see their parents next.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
Tell 'em to clap until their parents come home.
What did the captain of the Titanic do before the Titanic sunk?
He nominated everyone for the ice bucket awards.
This joke does not work in print, you have to speak it to someone.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Helen Keller.
Helen Keller who?
(Don't say anything).
Helen Keller who?
...you will get a laugh...ty.
What is the difference between cum and milk? Nothing. They are both white and tasty.
Please help, my dad is an addict. He won't stop, and he eats my food.
Sometimes I think, should I kill him? But nah, he will go down with the others who did that too.
Q: What’s a good thing about child molesters?
A: They drive slow through school zones.
You: Knock knock. Other person: Who is there? You: Not your parents.
Why is a pro fighter like a fisher?
They both can throw a hook.
Where do sex addicts go when they need to talk? Hoe-and-Tell.
What do LGBTQ+ people use as a weapon in THG (The Hunger Games)?
A rainbow.
The news of the brother getting sucked off regularly by his sister spread really fast... all over her face 🤤.
You don't need brains to be a Boss.
When the body was first created, all the parts wanted to be Boss. The brain said, "I should be Boss because I control all of the body's responses and functions."
The feet said, "We should be Boss since we carry the brain about and get him to where he wants to go."
The hands said, "We should be the Boss because we do all the work and earn all the money."
Finally, the asshole spoke up. All the parts laughed at the idea of the asshole being the Boss. So, the asshole went on strike, blocked itself up and refused to work.
Within a short time, the eyes became crossed, the hands clenched, the feet twitched, the heart and lungs began to panic, and the brain fevered. Eventually, they all decided that the asshole should be the Boss, so the motion was passed. All the other parts did all the work while the Boss just sat and passed out the shit!
Moral Of The Story: You don't need a brain to be a Boss----any asshole will do.