Worst Jokes Ever
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
An apple gets picked.
GF: What do you think of our love?
BF: Count the stars in the sky.
GF: Aww... It's infinity!
BF: Nope. It's just a waste of time.
BF: Babe, I have two questions.
GF: Ok, ask!
BF: Where have you been all my life?
GF: Aww, that's so sweet. And the second question?
BF: Can you please go back there?
I was the second worst thing to happen to those orphans.
Did you know that former Australian Prime Minister Scott Morrison was a firefighter? He got fired for trying to fight a fire with tickets to Hawaii.
Boy: Will you remember me in a minute?
Mom: Yes.
Boy: Will you remember me in a day?
Mom: Yes.
Boy: Will you remember me in a year?
Mom: Yes.
Boy: Knock knock.
Mom: Who's there?
Boy: Bitch, you forgot me.
Me dozing off while driving.
Everyone else on the passenger plane: September 11, 2001.
A feather and a depressed boy fell at the same time, which one hits the ground first?
The feather, because the rope stopped the child.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't know where home plate is.
What did one orphan say to another?
"Get in the Batmobile, Robin."
What’s the difference between a job and a wife?
The job keeps sucking after 5 years.
Girls: OMG what color should I use, baby blue, light blue, or navy blue?
Boys: blue is blue.
Why can't orphans work at SC Johnson?
Because it's a family company.
Guy: Are you a vending machine? Because you're a snack.
Girl: Your card got declined.
Guy: That's ok, you got to bang them a few times to get you money's worth.
Did anyone ever notice that "STUDYING" is a mixture of studying and dying?
Man A: "Is Google male or female?"
Man B: "Female, because it does not let you finish the sentence before making a suggestion."
What's the difference between apples and orphans?
Apples get picked.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Because they don’t know what a home looks like.
What's the difference between a priest and Woody from Toy Story?
Woody goes limp when a kid walks in the room.