Worst Jokes Ever

The teacher once said to some students, "I was an orphan before your principal hired me."

The students said, "Oof, that is sad."

The teacher tried to ignore them and take attendance. She said, "Is anyone missing?"

The students said, "Your parents."

The teacher got offended and later that day quit her job.

What do you call someone who is extra virgin?

Mrs. Frame.

Where do ducks poop out of?

From their buttquack.

I eat kids.

Have you ever walked in to Stephen Hawking's house?

No, neither has he.

Why don't Amish people water ski?

Because their horses would drown.

This is the song we all misunderstood: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2S0QhGGO1gQ

"He said, "One day, you'll leave this world behind, so live a life you will remember." My father told me when I was just a child, "These are the nights that never die." My father told me."

Whenever I think about it deeply, it makes me wanna cry :(

What is 3 feet tall and sits at the bottom of children's beds?

A: Garry Glitter's boots.

If they made a movie about your sex life, what would the title be?

Mine would be "Alien Vs. Predator."

What did Trump say to Ukraine when Putin bombed them?

"It was Antifa!!!! And China!!!!"

As tragic as school shootings are, it's also a quick way to a late-term abortion.

What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and a refrigerator?

The fridge actually runs.

Yo mama so fat that the sun is her moon.

What's yellow and can't swim? My mom on Halloween.

I went up to a kid and asked, "Are you an orphan?" They said, "Yes, what gave me away?" I said, "Your parents."

Joe Biden is the first president in history to have a vice president on record claiming they believed sexual harassment allegations against him.

I don't know about you, but I think that's a pretty big elephant in the room!

Why are Americans so bad at chess? Cause they lost 2 towers.

What's red, six inches long, and made my girlfriend cry when I fed it to her?

Her miscarriage.

"Having too much sex can result in memory loss."

I read that on page 37, paragraph five of the New England Medical Journal on September 15th, 2014, at 10:37 AM.

Yo mama must be a giant, 'cause my Mini P.E.K.K.A. goes berserk on her!