Worst Jokes Ever
I took my mother-in-law out yesterday morning,
It's great being a sniper.
What's the scariest thing about white people in prison?
How rare they are.
GF: What do you think of our love?
BF: Count the stars in the sky.
GF: Aww... It's infinity!
BF: Nope. It's just a waste of time.
BF: Babe, I have two questions.
GF: Ok, ask!
BF: Where have you been all my life?
GF: Aww, that's so sweet. And the second question?
BF: Can you please go back there?
Girls: OMG what color should I use, baby blue, light blue, or navy blue?
Boys: blue is blue.
Why can't orphans work at SC Johnson?
Because it's a family company.
Me dozing off while driving.
Everyone else on the passenger plane: September 11, 2001.
A feather and a depressed boy fell at the same time, which one hits the ground first?
The feather, because the rope stopped the child.
What did one orphan say to another?
"Get in the Batmobile, Robin."
Did anyone ever notice that "STUDYING" is a mixture of studying and dying?
What’s the difference between a job and a wife?
The job keeps sucking after 5 years.
Guy: Are you a vending machine? Because you're a snack.
Girl: Your card got declined.
Guy: That's ok, you got to bang them a few times to get you money's worth.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
An apple gets picked.
Man A: "Is Google male or female?"
Man B: "Female, because it does not let you finish the sentence before making a suggestion."
What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas?
I don't know, he still hasn't opened it yet.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't know where home plate is.
Boy: Will you remember me in a minute?
Mom: Yes.
Boy: Will you remember me in a day?
Mom: Yes.
Boy: Will you remember me in a year?
Mom: Yes.
Boy: Knock knock.
Mom: Who's there?
Boy: Bitch, you forgot me.
My dad died in 9/11. He was a Muslim pilot.
I gave the blind kid a gun and called it a hair dryer.
Yo mama so big, she thought Christopher Rhoades was a tampon.