Worst Jokes Ever
Yo mama so big, she thought Christopher Rhoades was a tampon.
Person: So you know that person's name you say when you make a hoop, well he's dead.
Friend: Yeah, John Wilkes Booth.
Person: How dare you say that he killed Abraham Lincoln?
Friend: Terrible guy but he never missed a shot!
Why were the Twin Towers annoyed?
Because they ordered pepperoni pizzas, but all they got was plain.
Roses are red, violets are blue, When I see you, I play with my poo.
Why do they call priests "father?" Because it's too suspicious to call him "daddy!"
Say "ocean" 5 times and you say "oh shit!"
What starts with "s" and ends with "erm"? SuperM.
This means both "matrix" and "master" so take out the "u" and then you just get "master". When you think of sperm, you think of porn. If you're a master at something, you're also a star at it. So you get porn star.
Yesterday, I tickled my granddaughter's feet.
She is being born in 2 months.
What's the difference between a baby and a baked potato?
140 calories.
Two Asian people have a black baby.
Something wrong.
People in wheelchairs need to stand up for themselves.
Harry Potter has an invisibility cloak, I have family.
What do you call a guy who has sex on the Moon?
An “Astronut”!
Me: Why am I an orphan?
Friend: I don't know.
Me: Ask your mom.
What is an orphan's favorite Roblox game? Adopt Me.
If I had a dollar for every gender there is, I'd have two dollars and a lot of counterfeits.
I wanna be the very best, like no one ever was.
To bitch them is my real test, to train them is my cause.
I will travel across the land, searching far and wide.
Fuse Pokemon to UnderStand, the power that’s inside.
Poke him on! Gotta train them all it’s Fru and me, All I know is my dress tiny, Poke him on! Yeah, you’re my best friend, In a world you must defend, Poke him on! Gotta train them all my shirts so true, My outrage will flush us through. You bitch me and I ditch you, P-O-K-E-M-O-N!!! Gotta train them all, Gotta train them all! Pokemon!
A turtle was walking down the street when all of a sudden a snail came up to him and robbed him.
When the policemen showed up and asked him what happened, he responded, "I don't know, it all happened so fast!"
Why can Chinese people play baseball?
Because they ate the bat.
Good night, sleep tight, don't let the bedbugs bite, and if they do, hit them with a shoe till they're all black and blue!