It's important to wash your sex toys.
That's why priests invented baptism.
Worst Jokes Ever
I donated to the LGBTQ community. Hopefully now they can find a cure.
What's worse than a baby in a dumpster?
A baby in two dumpsters.
Would you like to try African food?
They would too.
You: Find a time clock that can change time.
Your friend the next day: Hey, can I borrow yo' house?
You: No, I'm trying to figure out what to do with my TIME!
Also you: Changes the time back to 1267 so you don't have to have that friend again.
What do orphans call a selfie?
A family photo.
What do ICE and Mexican drug cartels both have in common?
They both kidnap Canadian women!
The American Dream is real. It's just set and filmed in Toronto and not Texas.
There was a kid crying. I asked him where his parents were. He cried more. I love working at an orphanage.
Why is American bad at Clash of Clans?
Because they already lost 2 towers.
My dad died in 9/11. He was such a good pilot.
At least if you're fat you don't need to put as much bathwater in the bath.
Why doesn't Voldemort have a human nose?
Because his snake bit it off!
What’s the rarest gun to find in Africa?
A water gun...
Women need to be in the kitchen.
The towers ordered pepperoni but got plane.
Me and my girlfriend broke up, so I took her wheelchair, and she came crawling back.
Why did the booty go to therapy?
It had some DEEP-SEATED issues.
Which planet would I consider dating?
I don’t know, but not Saturn because she’s already got a ring on her.
I hate 9/11 jokes... They always crash and burn, like, dude, it's not funny?
