Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call someone who used to kill people? An ex-executioner.
What do you get when you cross a redneck and another redneck?
Incest.
What do you call a white man having intercourse with a black woman?
An Oreo.
What kind of file turns a 1.5 cm hole into a 4.5 cm hole?
A pedophile.
Three women—a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead—are riding through the desert on a dune buggy. About two hours later, their vehicle dies with no gas, and they're forced to travel to their destination on foot, but they all agree to carry something with them.
The brunette brings canteens of water.
The redhead takes a large beach umbrella.
The blonde somehow rips off the car door.
The redhead asks her, "Why did you take the whole car door?"
To which the blonde replied, "So I can roll down the window in case it gets too hot."
So Jesus has been nailed to the cross.
On the first day, he starts to moan, "Peter, Peter!"
Well, Peter hears Jesus moaning and feels it is important, so begins to go up the hill. On his way, he is met by some Roman soldiers and they proceed to beat his ass back down the hill.
On the second day, Peter hears Jesus moaning again, "Peter, Peter!"
Peter thinks to himself, this is important. He heads up the hill, fights past the first line, but gets a beatdown by the second group and back down the hill he goes.
On the third day, Peter is woken up by Jesus sounding very weak, but calling out, "Peter, Peter!"
Peter feels that whatever it is that Jesus needs him for must be very important. Peter heads up the hill, he is on a mission. He manages to fight his way thru three sets of Roman guards and make his way to the cross Jesus has been nailed to for three days. He looks up to Jesus and says, "Jesus, I have heard your calls, what is so important?"
Jesus- "Peter, I can see your house from here!"
Why was the Koala Bear so clever?
Because he had good koalifications!
What is red, green, lies in a ditch, and is covered in cookie crumbs?
...A girl scout that got hit by a car.
A dark joke is like a kid with cancer. It never gets old.
I AM SO SORRY!
What do you get when you cross Donald Trump with Fregley?
Orange juice.
The Columbine High School basketball team hasn't been the same since they lost their two best shooters.
What did the lady say to Michael Jackson at the beach?
"Excuse me, you're in my sun (son)."
What's the difference between genocide and mass murder?
Genocide is racist.
What was the last thing that went through Aiden's head before he died?
His elbow.
Where do astronaut cows go to get milk?
The Milky Way!
Steven Hawking walks into a bar... no, I'm just kidding.
Curiosity killed the cat.
But for a while, I was a suspect.
What did the cow say when it saw the farmer twice in one day?
"Deja moo!"
Knock, knock. Who's there? You're adopted.
What do you call a friendly noise? A sound wave.