What's the difference between me and an old man? No one pulled my life support.
Worst Jokes Ever
I went to my local shooting range today but was surprised to see that the news reported a school shooting there. I still don't know who snitched...
Ashes to ashes, priests prefer boys, 'cause they don't have to shave their asses.
The twin towers were just tryna take after the leaning tower of Pisa, but they lost their balance and fucked it up.
What do you call it when Neil Armstrong started cuming in space?
The Milky Way.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
An apple can trace back its family tree.
What do you call a special ed class that’s flooded?
Vegetable soup.
I'm so proud of my grandpa, he killed Hitler. WAIT-
What's yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of toddlers.
Knock knock. Who's there? Dees. Dees who? Dees nuts!
(Or dees nuts in yo mouth!)
Did you know victims of 9/11 are fast readers?
They went down 100 stories in 4 seconds.
"If you can make them laugh and giggle, you can make their booty shake and jiggle."
Why can't an orphan watch T.V.?
Because it can't find the home button.
Adam and Eve were sitting on the beach one day, and Eve says to Adam, "Let's go for a swim." Adam replies, "I'm not in the mood."
She says, "Okay, I will go by myself." She puts her toes in the water and splashes around and says, "The water is beautiful, come in!" Adam replies, "Na, still not in the mood."
Eve wades into the water until she gets to her waist. Adam jumps up and yells at Eve standing waist deep and says, "Oh no, now all the fish are gonna smell like that!"
I like this Russian girl, but she hasn't asked me to hang off a cliff while drinking vodka.
Why can't orphans play basketball?
Because they don't know where home is.
What do you call an idiot who needs to get a life?
The Stigg.
Why is there no toilet paper at KFC?
Because it's finger-licking good.
Bible Verse of The Day - For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, "Abba, Father." The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children.
—Romans 8:15-16
What do you call a blind German?
A Nazi.
