Worst Jokes Ever
Q. Why were the Twin Towers so mad?
A. Because they ordered pepperoni pizza, but they only got plane.
Roses are red, the Jews are a cult.
I've practiced Metzitzah b'peh on adults.
The best way to tell a Hindu person and a Muslim person apart is asking them, "Are you 7-Eleven or 9/11?"
What is the worst part about siblings having sex?
Being left out.
My mum told me to stop telling the suicidal jokes.
I replied with: "Don't worry, suicide would be the last thing I'd do."
What do you call it when a white person beats a black person?
A KKKO.
A computer is a HARDware device. How come someone still feels it is MicroSOFT?
True fact: Five out of six people think Russian roulette is safe.
(Russian roulette is a game where you put 1 bullet in a pistol that has 6 chambers; each person spins it and tries not to land on the bullet to find out if you got the bullet or not. You point the gun at yourself and pull the trigger.)
Why does Hitler need glasses?
Because he could Nazi.
To avoid getting drafted, a young man slips into a nunnery to hide from some draft board agents who are after him. Desperate, he approaches a nun and asks her to hide him.
“Get under my robes,” says the nun. “No one will look for you there.” The nun lifts up her robes and the man says, “Hey, that’s a fine pair of legs you have there, sister.”
“Yeah, well if you look a bit higher you’ll see a fine set of balls,” replies the nun. “I didn't want to get drafted either.”
Did you know about 9 months after a power outage 50% more babies are born because it is dark?
So the man asks me, "Jesus, how do you want your steak?"
So I said, "Well done, my good faithful servant, well done."
What do you call a sad coffee?
Despresso.
Why did the blonde put lipstick on her forehead?
To make up her mind.
I was watching a "don't laugh" video, and an erection joke almost made me laugh.
It really gave me a hard time indeed.
Do you know what the "W" in Africa stands for? Water!
What makes a child an orphan?
Their parents left them for good. :D
When you step on the weighing scale, it shows your phone number!
You're so ugly, you made Hello Kitty say, "Goodbye."
What is a pup's favorite pizza?
Pupperoni