Worst Jokes Ever
What did The Notorious B.I.G. say to the cow?
- MOO MONEY MOO PROBLEMS
Went to see a psychic the other day.
I knocked on the door, and she said, "Who is it?"
So I turned around and left.
Your mama is so fat that when she fell, I didn't laugh, but the concrete cracked up.
Your forehead is so big, you can fit Santa’s sack on it.
Why did the Dad cross the road?
To get the milk.
What's brown and sticky?
A stick. Get your head out of the gutters... Jeez!
Women deserve rights and lefts.
What do you call a white man sandwiched between two black men in a blue sleeping bag?
An Oreo.
Why did I giggle?
Because I saw the ocean's bottom.
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Kid: Wanna hear a joke?
Me: Sure.
Kid: Why diddncjcjcbfjcbcjdbbskzmzj b b j no?
Me:?
My first name is Al and my last name is Coholic :) #yuengling.f/wat
This is how big cats were named.
"I HATE BIG CATS. THAT ONE IS A LIAR, THAT ONE IS A CHEATER. THE ONE IS A POO-MA."
"Lion. Cheetah. Puma. You're getting a promotion."
My wife treats me like God!
She takes no notice of my existence until she wants something.
Why doesn't Jesus participate in Battle Raps?
All his comebacks take three days.
I got fired from my paramedic job on the first day. I told an eight-year-old who lost his leg in a car accident to "walk it off."
Why is Santa's sack always full?
Because he only comes once a year.
"Pull down your pants, pull out my willy, stir your guts round like a hot bowl of chili."
So I was at a restaurant and I really hit it off with the waitress, so one thing led to another and I'm at her place and she was really nice at the IHOP but when I was there with her she was all like "ahhh! what are you doing!?!?!? how did you get in my house?!?!?" and then she punched me and I'm the one who ended up in prison.
This guy goes to a bar and pulls out a little guy playing the piano. The bartender asks him where he got a small man with a piano.
The guy points outside to a genie granting people wishes. The bartender runs out and 1 million ducks appear.
The bartender yells at the genie saying, “Are you fucking deaf? I asked for 1 million bucks, not 1 million bucks!”
The guy from the bar says, “No shit! You think I really asked for a 12-inch pianist?”