Worst Jokes Ever
Why did Michael Jackson go to Sea World?
To free Willie.
"Stop telling these orphan jokes!! Maybe some people that read these are orphans!"
I'll stop telling orphan jokes when their parents come back.
Shut the f*ck up.
When Kobe's pilot hit the mountain, he said, "Kobe."
I've been trying to use Google Maps in Ukraine, but I couldn't because I only saw Russia.
One man's trash is another man's treasure. That sucks when you are adopted.
One good thing about lynching during the holidays, free tree ornaments.
A depressed man has been thinking of killing himself, and his friend says, "Find God, he'll help you!"
Then the man said, "There’s only one way to get to God, and that is through Jesus. Have you, my friend, found him?"
You're so ugly that blind people cry when you walk past them.
You were supposed to be born in the tree.
The sticks were your siblings.
Got a job at the library yesterday... It lasted fifteen minutes... Turns out books about women's rights don't belong in the fiction section.
A man is dating three women and has to choose which one he'll marry. He decides to give them a test. He gives each woman a present of $5000 and watches to see what she does with the money.
The first woman does a total make-over. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, new make up, and buys several new outfits to look sexy for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much. The man was impressed.
The second woman goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much. Again, the man is impressed.
The third woman invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the $5000. She gives him back his $5000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much. Obviously, the man was impressed.
The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money... Then he married the one with the biggest tits.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, Here's hoping you do too.
My uncle is an alchemist.
He can turn 3 bottles of beer into 4 hours of abuse.
Who can jump the highest? Depressed asses, some say they’re still in the air.
What did the woman say to Michael Jackson at the beach?
"Excuse me, sir, you're in my son."
Bullying orphans is like bullying the homeless kid; both cry when you make fun of their parents.
One time I was watching TV.
Mom: Omg, your dad is coming!
Me: Omg, really?
Mom: Sike, I lied.
Why are short people so angry?? Cause they're closer to hell.
Why doesn’t Helen Keller go to the beach?
Because she can’t hear the sea.