Worst Jokes Ever
A blind teenager who is bad at reading wants to go hunting, so he finds a hunting ground called s-ch-ool.
What is black and white and red all over?
JFK
A pedophile is at a school parent night. He's holding hands with an eight-year-old girl when he's approached by another parent. She says to him, "Oh, what a darling little girl you have there." The pedophile replies, "No," then points his finger to a child across the room and says, "That's my child."
What do you call a downy under water?
Dead fish
The Columbine High School basketball team hasn't been the same since they lost their two best shooters.
What do you call a planet that poops? Uranus.
For 15 cents a day, you can feed an African child. They eat spare change, I guess.
I know a girl in a wheelchair. I realize now why she couldn’t do sports because the coaches wanted 100% from her, but she was only able to give 50%.
What do you call a girl with no arms and no legs?
Names.
So, a retarded kid's mom drops her kid off at school and says, "You better stop the bus today, because I’m not picking you up." So he agrees, and he arrives at the bus stop and says, "Stop!" (in a retarded voice). The bus goes straight past him. The next day, the mom says the same thing, and the kid goes to the bus stop and says, "Stop!" (in a retarded voice). The bus goes straight past him. The third day, his mom says, "I don’t care if I have to jump out in the middle of the road, you better stop that bus!" So the kid goes to the bus stop and jumps out in the middle of the road and says, "Stop!" The bus driver runs over him. A nearby lady stops the bus and says, "Why’d you run that poor kid over?" and he responds, "'Cause he was making fun of me" (in a retarded voice).
Where would you take Stephen Hawking if he dies, the funeral directors or PC World?
What’s the difference between a mother and a fetus at an abortion office?
Only one of them is scared.
A midget walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender says no.
The midget asks why. The bartender says, "You're a little drunk!"
What does McDonald's and a Catholic priest have in common?
They both put their meat in 10-year-old buns.
What's the difference between a chocolate cake and a dead baby?
About 5000 calories.
I was going to make a joke about a piece of paper.
It's just too tear-able.
Shoot.
I don't know if this is a joke or a question, but:
If killing yourself sends you to hell, where does sitting in the waiting room get you?
Why did the little boy cross the road multiple times?
He stepped on an IED after being mutilated on a chopping block that was on fire with a table saw and multiple gallows which were infested with flaming termites with splotches of blood all over him from his eyes after they were squashed with a brick.
What kind of cars do Mexicans drive?
A Juanda.