Worst Jokes Ever
Wanna hear a dry joke? A desert.
What do you call blue and orange at the bottom of a pool?
A baby with flat armbands!
A common question I get as a doctor is, do vaccines cause autism? Well!, I was vaccinated, so.....
Why do most orphans become prostitutes?
“Because they always wanted a daddy.”
My girlfriend broke up with me yesterday. I asked her why. She said, "Because you're a pedophile." I replied, "Pedophile! That's a big word for an eight year old."
What's the difference between tuna, a piano and glue?
You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna.
Your momma's so dumb, she tried to climb Mountain Dew.
What's better than 10 dead babies nailed to a tree?
One dead baby nailed to ten!
Yo mama's so fat, she works in the movie theater as a screen.
Do you know why the Royal family can no longer play Monopoly?
How do you think Princess Diana died?
...Too soon?
One day a cow ate a fish.
What came out the other side?
A dead fish.
Don’t have phone sex without protection, you might get hearing aids!
Why would hunting a bald eagle in America be a bad idea?
Because it's ill-eagle.
What's big, green, has four legs, and if it falls out of a tree, it can kill you?
A pool table.
What's the difference between pussy and pizza... nothing because I'll eat them both.
Which one of Lord Arthur's knights invented the round table?
Sir Cumference.
My friend had this annoying little kid that always used to yell and scream when he didn't get what he wanted. I told my friend there's a new attraction a few states away he could take him to.
Confused, my friend asked me what it was. I told him, "The Sandy Hook Experience: Where you come in and leave with a 'hole' lot of fun."
What is the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Porsche in my garage.
gae
How to treat someone who’s lesbian, gay, queer, transgender or bisexual?
The same way that you would treat anybody else, you homophobic bastard.