Worst Jokes Ever
"How was your day?"
"It was great."
"What was so great about it?"
"I saw a puppy."
"Awww."
"And I ran over it :)"
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Interrupting Cow.
Interrupting Co- MOO!
Sans: “pokes brother with ruler”
Papyrus: Sans, what are you doing?
Sans: Measuring your patience.
Papyrus: Grunts
Alien vs Predator.
Cosby vs E.T.
What did the chef say to the skeleton?
"Bone appetit!"
Q: Why did Sally drop her ice cream?
A: She got hit by a bus.
What is the difference between a kid with cancer and dark humor?
Dark humor never dies!
Where do Dairy Queen and Burger King go after dinner?
White Castle.
A horse walks into a bar. The bartender said, "Why the long face?"
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?
Lickalotofpuss.
The winds of Uranus go on and off, so you could say the wind is broken.
If Trump was an orphan, I know he would know not to build a wall because he was in one most of his life.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
To find his family. Sorry!
I asked Michael Jackson when did he lose his virginity. He just replied with "HEHE!"
My son said, "What rhymes with orange?"
I said, "No, it doesn't!"
What type of pizza did the 9/11 victims order? Two planes.
My syndrome may be down, but my hopes are up!
A Chinese boy never met his parents after they were killed in WW2, so when he learned where they were buried, he quickly rushed there.
He sat down in front of their graves and prayed, "I want to see your face again, mommy..." A miracle happened; his mother rose up from the graves and hugged him.
The boy cried then said, "I want to see you too, dad." He looked at his father's grave, but nothing happened.
Suddenly, a Japanese soldier came up behind him and asked, "Were you looking for me?"
There are three men walking down the road, and they come across a farm that is for sale. The three men look at each other and put all their money together to buy the farm. On that farm, there is a cow, a monkey, and a bunch of cow food. The men are out of money, and the farm is going out of business.
One of the men sees that there is a contest for the biggest cow in the county. They entered the contest, but the cow is so thin. Every time they tried to feed the cattle, it would poop and lose weight again, so one of them suggested that they put a cork up the cow's behind. The first guy says, "Okay, then go put a cork there."
"I don't want to do it. You do it."
"No, you do it."
The third guy says, "Let's just get the monkey to do it." And the monkey puts the cork in the cow's behind. They win the biggest cow contest and get the money they need to save the farm.
The second guy realizes that they need to take the cork out of the cow. "Guys, we need to take the cork out of the cow," he says.
"Well, I'm not going to do it. You do it."
"No, you do it."
The third guy says, "Let's just get the monkey to do it again." So the monkey uncorks the cow, and there was a huge explosion. A few days later, the three men wake up in the hospital.
The doctor walks up to the first man and asks, "What happened?"
The first man replies, "All I remember is that horrible sound."
The doctor walks up to the second man and asks, "What happened?"
"All I remember is that horrible smell..."
The doctor walks up to the third man and again asks the same question. The third man looks at him and says, "All I remember is that poor poor monkey trying to put the cork back in."
What do you call an orphan taking a family photo?
A selfie.