Worst Jokes Ever
Jack and Jill went up the hill to do it in the water.
Jack slipped, and the condom ripped; now they have a daughter.
What is Michael Jackson's favorite game? Jacks.
Why? He loved to play with the little balls.
My uncle died in the 9/11 attacks. He was the best pilot I had ever met.
What's the difference between Pikachu and an orphan?
Pikachu, I choose you!
Smack an orphan, what’s he gonna do... tell his parents?
Read the next line.
Read the previous line.
Why can't people in wheelchairs pass high school?
The pacer test.
Why do people in wheelchairs get bullied? Because they can never stand up for themselves.
Two cows were hiding.
One said: "Moooo."
The other one said: "Shut up! We're hiding!"
What did Julius say when he saw a woman stealing an expensive chandelier?
“Guards! Seize her (Caesar)!”
What was the computer's best pickup line?
Nice bits!
Q: Why did Sally fall off the building?
A: Her dad pushed her.
H: *walks into bedroom* Why are you packing your bags?
W: I heard in New York women get paid $400 for what I do for you for free.
*Later that day*
W: *walks into the bedroom to see husband packing his bags* What are you doing?
H: I’m going with you. I want to see how you live off of $800 a year.
What did the leper say to the prostitute?
"Don't worry, you can keep the tip."
What is a necrophiliac's favorite candy? A Hearsey's Kiss.
Where do sheep go to shop?
Woolmart.
To master puns, you got to relish them first. That's how I must(ar)d it. Who knows, maybe you will ketchup to my level.
Can an orphan go to a family restaurant?
My mom told me that she got a new job & I don't have to leave the house.
Then my mom told all my customers are the men that live in our neighborhood.
Then I ask what is your job call. My mom said job hand, then I said job and or is hand job.
My mom said yeah that it. My mom said I'm good at my job that why all the males are always knocking at the door.
EU Delegate: "Sir, your country has the highest corruption and crime rate out of any other member nations. What do you have to say?"
Ambassador: *tries slipping the delegate 40 Euros* "You didn't see any statistics."