Worst Jokes Ever

Why wasn’t the cheese 🧀 happy?

It was blue 😔.

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

I remember my dad's last words: "I met your father."

Q. There were two sisters. One was having twins and asked her sister to help name the children. If one was named Deniece, what was the other named?

A. Denephew.

Do you know the murderer, The murderer, the murderer, Do you know the murderer, Who lives on Dreary Lane?

Yes, I know the murderer, The murderer, the murderer, Yes, I know the murderer, Who lives on Dreary Lane.

How does a penguin build its house?

Igloos it together!

I was going to tell you a joke about a big cat, but I would be lion.

How many homeless guys does it take to change a lightbulb?

“You’re telling me there’s change in a lightbulb?”

MOM: Honey, I'm pregnant.

DAD: Hi, Pregnant, I'm Dad.

MOM: No, you're not.

So little Susie came home and said, "Mom, little Johnny showed me his pecker."

And her mom said, "WHAT?!"

And little Susie was like, "Yeah, it reminded me of a peanut." Her mom said, "Oh, because it was so small?"

Susie said, "No, because it tasted salty."

The people at 9/11 must have been able to read fast. If I explain it, it won't be funny. This is an old joke my friend told me.

I got 99 problems but a chin ain't one.

What did the emo say before he crossed the road?

"Fuck my life."

Three nuns are having a charity in front of the church.

A man in a trench coat walks up and flashes the three nuns. The first nun had a stroke, the second nun had a stroke, but the third nun, her arm was too short.

What did the pilots say before crashing into the Twin Towers?

"We can't go over it, we can't go under it, we go through it!"

If you're ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they going to do, tell their parents?

Before I die, I'm going to ask to be cremated.

Then I'm going to eat a bunch of popcorn kernels.

Then I'll die and get cremated. BOOM! I'm popcorn!

What's large, grey, and doesn't matter?

An irrelephant.

Why is Peter Pan always flying?

Because he Neverlands!

My sister reminds me of 911: one moan of "OMG" got everyone's attention.