Worst Jokes Ever
What did Ron put in his diary?
I "Her-mio-ne" after I banged her last night.
Why does the heart listen to music a lot?
Because it loves feeling the beat.
Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick Jill's candy.
Jack got a big shock with a mouth full of huge cock, because Jill's real name is Randy, and she had no candy, just he gave Jack a handy.
Why was the man running around his bed?
Because he needed to catch up on his sleep!
A guy went to the doctor and told him that whenever he drinks a cup of tea, his eye hurts. The doctor brought him a cup and asked him to drink. When he finished, the doctor told him: "From now on, take off the spoon."
Yo mama is so fat, when she took a walk, she made an earthquake!
I was happy to find I could get a passing grade in all my subjects if I had sex with my teacher, until I remembered I'm home schooled.
Teacher: Alright kids. 50, 49, 48, 47. What comes before 47?
Kid: AK!
Everyone else: 🚪 🏃🏾♀️🏃🏽🏃🏿🏃🏾♀️🏃🏽🏃🏿🏃🏿🏃🏿♀️ 🎒 🏃🏻
"I'm sorry," the doctor says, "you have a rare and very contagious disease. We must quarantine you, and you'll only be fed cheese and bologna."
"Will that cure me?" the patient asks.
"Well, no," the doctor replies, "but it's the only food that will fit under the door."
My friend: "Ya mama so stupid, she sits on the TV and watches the couch!"
Me: "That joke's older than your mom!"
Why did the blonde chick buy two Plan B pills?
She wanted to be for sure for sure!
Animal jokes, eh?
Toucan play at that game.
Why didn't the orphan cross the road? Where was he gonna go?
What do you call a violent fish?
A smackeral!
Q: How did the explorers get to school?
A: They rode the Colum-bus!
When there’s an earthquake, coffins become underground maracas.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
Because he forgot to plug in the charger.
If you throw a nun, is it called a... Nunchuck???
What do you call a duck on drugs?
A quackhead.
Why did Michael Jackson decide to sell the ranch?
Because it was over 10 years old.