Worst Jokes Ever
Toothbrush says, "I have the worst job ever."
Toilet paper says, "You think your job is shitty."
What do you call a bunch of white people in an elevator?
A box of crackers.
What does Michael Jackson and a Playstation have in common?
They're both made of plastic and children turn them on.
A blind teenager who is bad at reading wants to go hunting, so he finds a hunting ground called s-ch-ool.
A student was peeking in on a 10/10 chick, and the guy was about to nut.
The school shooter patted his back and told him to leave his corpses alone.
The Columbine High School basketball team hasn't been the same since they lost their two best shooters.
What do you call a planet that poops? Uranus.
For 15 cents a day, you can feed an African child. They eat spare change, I guess.
What do you call a girl with no arms and no legs?
Names.
So, a retarded kid's mom drops her kid off at school and says, "You better stop the bus today, because I’m not picking you up." So he agrees, and he arrives at the bus stop and says, "Stop!" (in a retarded voice). The bus goes straight past him. The next day, the mom says the same thing, and the kid goes to the bus stop and says, "Stop!" (in a retarded voice). The bus goes straight past him. The third day, his mom says, "I don’t care if I have to jump out in the middle of the road, you better stop that bus!" So the kid goes to the bus stop and jumps out in the middle of the road and says, "Stop!" The bus driver runs over him. A nearby lady stops the bus and says, "Why’d you run that poor kid over?" and he responds, "'Cause he was making fun of me" (in a retarded voice).
Where would you take Stephen Hawking if he dies, the funeral directors or PC World?
What’s the difference between a mother and a fetus at an abortion office?
Only one of them is scared.
A midget walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender says no.
The midget asks why. The bartender says, "You're a little drunk!"
What does McDonald's and a Catholic priest have in common?
They both put their meat in 10-year-old buns.
What's the difference between a chocolate cake and a dead baby?
About 5000 calories.
I don't know if this is a joke or a question, but:
If killing yourself sends you to hell, where does sitting in the waiting room get you?
Shoot.
I was going to make a joke about a piece of paper.
It's just too tear-able.
A guy walks into a mosque... then blows up.
Why did the little boy cross the road multiple times?
He stepped on an IED after being mutilated on a chopping block that was on fire with a table saw and multiple gallows which were infested with flaming termites with splotches of blood all over him from his eyes after they were squashed with a brick.