Worst Jokes Ever
How do you get a baby to stop crawling in circles?
You nail its other hand to the floor.
What is Julius Caesar’s favorite food?
Roman noodles.
Why do ducks have feathers? So they can cover their butt quacks.
Me: Want to hear a joke?
Friend: Sure.
Me: When my Mum and Dad said they loved me.
Friend: What's funny about that?
Me: Because the next day they disowned me.
What is yellow and can't swim?
A school bus full of kids.
What is Green and Red and goes round and round?
A frog in a blender.
(this next one is pretty bad, and I don't mean it, so don't get offended)
What's the difference between a Mexican and a park bench?
One can support an average family.
What did the cookie say to the milk?
What’s up duud?
What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a Mustang Challenger?
I don't have a Mustang Challenger in my garage.
I told a chemist a joke.
No reaction.
Why did the cheese go to therapy? Because it had too many emotional holes.
Are you a gun, because I would be your bullets because I love going in children.
Q: Why should you never invite an aardvark to your family reunion?
A: Because it will eat your "aunts."
Why was the Human Torch arrested?
He had firearms.
Y'all wanna hear a joke? My life.
A joker held the door open for me the other day. It was a nice gesture.
A man was walking down the street with a swivel chair under one arm, a computer under the other, and a desk strapped to his back.
A policeman ran over to him and handcuffed him, saying, "I'm arresting you for impersonating an office, sir!"
Some people think Bin Laden is dead, but some think he's alive.
He is the Al-Qaeda Elvis.
l li
ll l_
Kid: "Mom, what happened to Jim?"
Mom: "He got inside a white van."
That was a horrible pun. You should be sent to the PUN-itentiary!