Worst Jokes Ever
I have been reading this book about zero gravity. I can’t seem to put it down.
Why is a tomato red?
Because it saw the ranch dressing!
Mushroom?
Want to hear a joke about construction? I'm still working on it.
Creeper?
What’s the difference between cancer and my brother?
My brother didn’t beat cancer.
Why is the white guy in prison scarier than a black guy in prison?
Because the white guy actually did it.
Why are gay guys so rude?
Because they’re fucking assholes.
I saw a black man riding a brand new bike, so I went home to check my garage. It’s all good because I still saw mine still chained to the floor begging for food.
What's a tower's favorite bagel? I don't know, but it ain't plain.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
9/11.
9/11 who?
[pause] You said you’d never forget.
What do you call a group of emo people?
"The Suicide Squad."
Why did the blonde stare at the Ford?
Because it said, "Focus."
I look at my girlfriend’s ass like a homeless man looks at a trash can.
Like it’s my next meal.
The Earth was flat until yo mama buried herself.
Bomb.
Are you sure your father isn't a thief?
Because he stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.
How are gay people like mice?
They both hate pussies.
What did the elephant say to the naked man?
"How do you breathe through that tiny thing?"
I told myself I needed to stop drinking so much. But I'm not about to start listening to some drunk weirdo who talks to themself.