Worst Jokes Ever
A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident.
He yelled, "Doctor! Doctor! I can't feel my legs!"
The Doctor replies, "I know, I amputated your arms."
What kind of sex do priests love?.
Nun.
There's 3 things I hate.
1. Jokes
2. Lists
3. Irony.
My uncle got sued from NASA the other day. He claimed to be the first one to enter Uranus.
Did you know that Helen Keller had a dog?
Well, neither did she!
What do world hunger and a Mercedes have in common?
Princess Diana couldn't stop both of them.
8008135 is my favorite number.
The worst ratio is 6:9.
And last but not least, "Why was six afraid of seven?" Seven eight nine. But why was six with nine? Because when you put them together, you get 69. But why was six mad at nine? Because Nine eight six, too.
One day, someone goes out into the forest to go hunting, and finds out there are a few others in the forest. He comes back the next day to learn he is the only person there.
Where are the others?
They're in his freezer.
What's a person with Down syndrome's favorite detergent?
Downy.
What did the 0 say to the 8?
"Nice belt."
I was having sex with my girl, and she said she likes it rough, so I socked her in the face.
I can barely remember the last words my uncle told me.
"Let go of my nose!"
What do dairy products praise? Cheeseus.
You know every time we think of sex, an angel dies.
We ran out of dead people hundreds of years ago.
Donald Trump: "I play Fortnite just to build walls."
You want to know what the ugly truth looks like?
Go look in the mirror.
So, I was fucking this bitch, right, and I thought I had AIDS.
So I go and get tested. Turns out I did get AIDS. Now what I'm wondering is where the hell does an eight-year-old get AIDS?! I guess my sister needs new friends...
Why didn't the bear go to college?
Because bears don't go to college.
There was a Mexican magician. He was going to disappear on the count of three.
1-2-..... and he left without a trace.
What do a girl and a bar have in common?
A- Liquor in the front, poker in the back!