Worst Jokes Ever
How many dead prostitutes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
More than three because the basement is still dark!
What turns a girl on more than having sex with her?
When she finds out that you have a vibrator too.
The Annoying Orange called Donald Trump a copycat.
What do you call a bunch of bi-racial, retarded kids? Mixed vegetables.
Why was the homeless lady only wearing one sock?
She started her period.
What's the difference between anal rape and a microwave?
A microwave won't brown your meat.
What's a pedophile's favorite holiday?
Halloween. Free delivery!
Mary's mother was a good person. Why did she die?
Because she got stabbed in the heart 60 times by a switchblade.
What do you call a steak that tastes bad?
A MISsteak.
Break a wine glass: I give you bad luck for a year.
Break a mirror: Funny wine glass, I give you bad luck for 7 years.
Breaking a condom: Haha so funny mirror.
RIP Stephen Hawking who was buried today... he did always love black holes.
Anything can be funny with the right delivery, except for abortion jokes, because there is no delivery.
I have a friend who has no arms, her name is Suzy. I always tell her this one knock knock joke, "Knock Knock!" "Who's there?" Not Suzy.
"Luck of the Irish my ass, I just blew a tranny and an engine in my truck both in the same week... Boy it really ruined my day when they found out about each other."
Did you hear about the new German microwave? It has ten seats in it.
Why can't you hear a Pterodactyl go to the bathroom?
Because it's extinct.
I fear my last words will be "hold my beer and watch this."
What do you call a homeless bounty hunter?
Hobo Fett!
Yo mama so hairy that when she go to the hair salon they say, "No pets allowed."
One day, two Chinese people with broken English go to America. When they arrive, they go to a small place to eat. When they look at the menu, they see "hot dog," but since their English is bad, they think it's literally a roasted dog and order it. When it comes back, they're both surprised, and one of them asks,
"What part of the dog did you get?"