Worst Jokes Ever
Why can’t dinosaurs clap?
Because they're dead.
Did you hear about the dyslexic cop? He jumped off his horse and blew his whistle!
You mom.
Q: How did the explorers get to school?
A: They rode the Colum-bus!
A baby seal walked into a club.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He ran out of battery life.
What do you call a violent fish?
A smackeral!
When there’s an earthquake, coffins become underground maracas.
Bosses are like seagulls.
They fly in, make a lot of noise, crap all over everything, then fly out.
Me: John, what did he do earlier?
John: Hold on, I’m trying to think.
Me: I thought I smelled poop.
Q: What do you call a guy with no arms or legs in front of a door?
A: Mat.
Why do orphans go to church so much?
So they can have someone to call father.
Why does the heart listen to music a lot?
Because it loves feeling the beat.
My sister said the onion is the only vegetable that can make you cry...
So I threw a carrot at her.
My friend: "Ya mama so stupid, she sits on the TV and watches the couch!"
Me: "That joke's older than your mom!"
Animal jokes, eh?
Toucan play at that game.
Yo mama is so fat, when she took a walk, she made an earthquake!
A guy went to the doctor and told him that whenever he drinks a cup of tea, his eye hurts. The doctor brought him a cup and asked him to drink. When he finished, the doctor told him: "From now on, take off the spoon."
What did Ron put in his diary?
I "Her-mio-ne" after I banged her last night.
I hate it when ever I bring a girl over, my parents don't care, but when I bring one of my friends that's a boy, they're like, "Keep the door open," and I'm gay.