Worst Jokes Ever
I made a website for orphans.
It has no home page.
How did Helen Keller lose her arm? She tried to read the stop sign at 100 MPH.
Punch an orphan in the face what they gonna do? Tell there parents
I called my boss the other Monday and told him I needed the day off because I was sick. He said, "How sick?"
I said, "Well, I'm in bed with my 12-year-old sister."
Why did the crumb cake isolate himself? He had a crumbling social life.
Skeleton puns? Nah... they aren't that humerus.
What was on Stephen Hawking's gravestone? "Intel inside."
What do you call a herd of cows masturbating?
Beef strokin' off.
My ex-boyfriend's dick is so small that instead of giving him a handjob, I had to give him a thumb and forefinger job.
What does LGBTQ+ mean? Is it the premium version of GAY?
Gun control in America is perfect the way it is, because the other day my daughter was seeing a boy and i caught them in bed. Then i pulled out my shotgun and nearly shot him. As he was running away I shouted " The only person allowed to f*ck my daughter is me!".
What did the skeleton say to the genderless child? "You're fucking dead, mate."
What do world hunger and a Mercedes have in common?
Princess Diana couldn't stop both of them.
Why is Stephen Hawking going to hell, not heaven? Because it's a stairway to heaven, not a ramp.
What is the scariest thing you'll ever see in your life? James Charles thinking he has rights.
What do you call a pen with no head?
DeCAPitated.
When Stephen Hawking was asked why he was instantly attracted to his new girlfriend, he said, "It's simple, she pushes all the right buttons."
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite TV show?
Robot Wars.
Why do emos like circles? Because they can hang out with them.
Why are Mexicans so bad in the Olympics?
Because all the ones that can run, jump, and swim live in America.