Worst Jokes Ever
What's the difference between a baby and an onion?
The baby cries when I cut it, but an onion makes me cry when I cut it.
"My grandmother used to tell us a joke. She’d say, "Knock knock." We’d say, "Who’s there?" Then she’d say, "I can’t remember"... and start to cry."
So, I know that there are a lot of egg yolks on this website, and I guess I got beat to it, but I'm eggcited to say eggsactly what the eggs say.
I know I'm bad at this, but I hope you will crack up anyway.
Why does the orange 🍊 beat the other fruits 🍎 in every race?
Because it never runs out of juice.
Last time I got a piece of ass was when my finger went through the toilet paper.
How many dead kittens does it take to clog a pool filter? Seven when I tried!
Why was the homeless lady only wearing one sock?
She started her period.
Orphan jokes are like families, not everyone gets 'em.
(Also, I banged ya mum ;))
What do you call a dog that can do magic?
A Labracadabrador.
I see some objects over there... oh, never mind, that's a woman.
Chuck Norris lit a campfire, and humans saw the sun for the first time.
Why did Hitler get hit by a car? Because he did Nazi that coming!
What's black and white and red all over?
A police brutality case.
One day, in the Serengeti, a zebra started wondering if he was a white horse with black stripes, or a black horse with white stripes. So he goes around asking all the animals. He never gets his answer.
One fateful day, he dies and goes to Heaven. In Heaven, the zebra gets an idea. "I will go ask God!" So, he asks God, and God chuckles. "You are what you are!"
The zebra gets sad. He walks around and his dead zebra friend shows up. He asks, "What is wrong?" The zebra answers, "Well, I asked God if I was either a white horse with black stripes, or a black horse with white stripes. He just replied 'You are what you are!'"
His friend says, "Oh! You are a white horse with black stripes! Why? Because he would have said 'You is what you is!'"
How can you make a woman scream your name when you have sex with her?
Change your name to "Rape."
Have you seen the Xbox game Sea of Thieves?
Sea if these nuts fit on yo mouth.
Where did Michael Jackson go to college?
Bring 'em young.
A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Amal." The other goes to a family in Spain, who name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his mother.
Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal. Her husband responds: "They're twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."
What does a broken down vegetable say?
I need new wheels.
Joke: Why did the gym close down?
– It just didn’t work out.