Worst Jokes Ever
Why can’t orphans play softball?
They can’t find home.
You look good now, but you’d look better hanging from my ceiling. ;)
We should give whoever killed Hitler a statue. Oh wait, never mind.
Or is she asking her son, "Do you know Newton?"
The boy said, "No, I don't know."
She said to him, "If you had paid attention to your lessons, you would have known him!"
The boy said, "Ok, do you know Ikhlod?"
She said to him, "No, who is she?"
He said to her, "If you had paid attention to your husband, you would have known her."
The important thing is that the boy is currently a week with his uncles and a week with his turbans.
Why are orphans so bad at dodgeball?
Because nobody misses them.
I have a better method of abortion than currently used. It's like a regular one, except you can get free food out of it... We're about to give baby-back ribs a whole new meaning.
What is fully grown but can fit through small objects? Michael Jackson.
What do you call a gay kid that is on fire?
LGBBQ
This Native American won't stop talking bad about me, so I said, "Please stop acting like you first discovered this land belonged to your ancestors!"
Two guys were beating up someone in an alley, so I stepped in to help.
He didn't stand a chance against the three of us.
My late grandpa was always popular with women. One day, before he died, I asked him what his secret was. He said, "I inherited a watering hole."
Bewildered, I replied, "What does that have to do with anything?"
"I could easily get anyone wet because I was well endowed."
What do you call an emo that crossed a road? Roadkill.
In the hospital, they need to keep the disabled patients' rooms cooler than the other patients' rooms.
Why?
They need to keep the vegetables cool and crisp.
Jeffrey Dahmer and his mother are having dinner.
His mother says, “I don’t like your friends.”
Then Jeff says, “You can eat the potatoes.”
What does Michael Jackson and a TV have in common? They both get turned on by kids.
Why does Michael Jackson like to play golf?
He likes to hit small white balls.
Fun Fact: Did you know JFK's brain was so big it covered a whole entire limousine?
What movie do orphans hate? Full House 🏠
What do genders and the Twin Towers have in common?
There used to be two, now it’s a sensitive subject.
A cop pulls a man over and finds out he's drunk. So he asks for license and registration, and the drunk man says, "Can I see your flashlight?"
The cop says, "Just give me your license and registration." So drunk guy says, "Not until you give me your flashlight."
The cop said, "For what?" and the drunk guy says, "So I can shine it in your face and see what an asshole looks like."