Worst Jokes Ever
The black nurse tells me she has been a vegan for 29 years. The father sitting next to me asks, "So you don't miss fried chicken?"
Dark humor never gets old, just like children with cancer.
Why are french fries rude?
Jantje goes on a walk with his grandmother. Jantje sees 1 dollar on the street and picks it up.
The grandmother says: "Hey, Jantje! No picking up things from the floor! They are ugly and bad!"
Then they keep walking. The grandmother slips and asks Jantje to help her stand up. Jantje answers: "No! Everything on the ground is ugly and bad."
What’s the difference between a child and someone who has been kidnapped?
One of them is a domesticated pet.
Why do orphans love chips?
Because every bag of chips is family size.
What is the best way to get chewing gum out of your hair?
Cancer.
You're so fat, when people see you running, they can't help but yell out, "Keep running!"
Your mom is heavier than Mariah can even carry.
You're the type of person to wash your hands after a shower.
"When your mom is pregnant and your best friend learns dad jokes."
Me:.....
There once was a boy named Sammy who loved this girl beyond belief. Her name was Rayne, but she didn’t notice him and or talk to him, but one day she did and they ended up liking each other and getting married and living happily... wait, no, that’s not right.
Sammy actually snuck into Rayne’s house one day and kidnapped her and locked her in his basement and made her into a puppet so he could keep her forever and ever. The End.
Why couldn't the Orphan play baseball?
Because he couldn't find home!
Why can't orphans operate Apple devices?
Because they don't know how to use the home button.
What's the difference between a nuclear reactor and your step sis? You need to use protection for the nuclear reactor.
Q. Why was the orphan unable to use the phone?
A. He was trying to phone home.
Are you sad? Then don't be sad, because sad backwards is das, and das no good.
I can't fake the smile for long, as there is weight hanging at both of its ends called depression.
Edward Scissorhands: Why is it that every time I touch someone, they get offended?
Kids: Because you're a psycho path.
Husband: Hey honey, words can’t describe how beautiful you are.
Wife: Aww, thanks.
Husband: But numbers can. 0 out of 10.