Worst Jokes Ever
A blonde walks into the doctor's office. She tells the doctor, "My boyfriend has dandruff."
The doctor tells her to use Head and Shoulders. She leaves. About an hour later, the doctor's phone rings. He answers, it's the blonde. The doctor asks how he can help her. "Well doctor, I understand head, but how do you 'hove' shoulders?"
What is a good time for dinner, and what do I do? You can do dinner. Was that it?
Sally's mother had four children. The fourth April, the second May, the third June. Who was the first child?
Sally.
What did the grape say when the Meerkat stepped on it?
It said nothing, just let out a little wine.
The udder day I drank milk.
It was udderly delicious!
What did the kids say hi to? A slide.
What time is it when you get home and you walk, walk home and walk, walk home?
Employer: Can you perform under pressure?
Me: No, but I do a pretty good "Bohemian Rhapsody."
Why was the turtle looking at her phone?
She wanted to take a shellfie.
So, some ants in a colony go to war. They want some more troops and know that there are ants that went to wars as well. They call them war-ants.
They start barging into homes to search for more war-ants. They barge into a home, and the lady-ant goes, "Hey, why are you here? Can you please leave?" One of the ants replies with, "I'm sorry, but unless you have a war-ant, we have to keep searching your house."
I just stepped on a corn flake. I'm officially a cereal killer.
Roses are red, violets are blue, she is hot, but you're as ugly as poo.
SPOILER ALERT...
I was going to tell you a joke about Thanos, but T. S. snapped it away!
Has anybody heard of the guy who passed out in the middle of oncoming traffic? Yeah, he was tired.
Xd.
Yo, sis, come here.
Sis: What?
Me: Oh, sorry, you doing school?
Sis: Yup.
Me: Can I go?
Sis: No way, you're going to hug me.
Me: I love you.
A boy asks a zookeeper, "Why is there a baguette in a cage?"
The zookeeper says, "It's bread in captivity!"
Where do cows go to see the big screen? The mooo-vie theater.
Famous last words: I COULD EAT THIS IN ONE BITE!
Why do people love camping?
Because it's in tents!