Worst Jokes Ever
I have OCD and ADD, so everything has to be perfect... but not for very long.
What did the shoe say to the other shoe?
Nothing, it was tied up in another conversation.
We all know Albert Einstein was a genius, but his brother Frank was a monster.
What do you call a pineapple in a pun?
A Puneapple.
Why do musicians in New Orleans smell so good?
Because they're jasmine (jazz men)!
I once made a belt out of clocks.
It was a waist of time.
Q: Why can't a blonde call 911?
A: Because she can't find the 11.
What do you call a midget that waves? A microwave.
Why didn't the skeleton go to the ball? He didn't have any BODY to go with.
Why would a dead guy lie?
Because he can't stand up.
Why did the one-armed man cross the road?
To get to the second-hand shop.
Yo man, stand up.
*short person stands*
No, seriously man, stand up!
What kind of cheese protects castles?
MOAT-zerrela.
What's the best thing about Switzerland?
I don't know, but the flag is a big plus.
What do you call a lazy piece of meat?
A meatloaf.
A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."
What do you do with a dead scientist?
You barium.
What's the difference between you and a bench?
A bench can hold a family.
Why can't orphans walk through doors?
Because they don't have a house to walk into.
What is the most noise that comes out of a ladies mouth? Nothing because they never have anything important to say.