Worst Jokes Ever

What do you call a sad strawberry?

A blueberry.

What do volcanoes and suicide bombers have in common?

They both erupt when triggered.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I don't wanna say this, but nobody cares about you.

The mirror says: "If you break me, you will have 3 years of bad luck."

The Magic Jewel says: "If you break me, you will have 10 years of bad luck."

The condom just sitting there laughing.

Why can't orphans be gay?

Because they have no one to call daddy.

Literally every movie:

"I love you." "I love you, too."

My life:

My 'friends': "Hey, Hailey likes you!" Him: "Wtf, I have a girlfriend, sorry not sorry." His friends: Spreads the word throughout the whole goddamn country. 😶

What is an orphan's favorite store?

Home Depot.

There is this cute Russian girl in my class, yet she hasn't asked me out for vodka.

My eggs are just like my dad... nonegg-istent.

My mom got a clown for my birthday, but it ended up being my sister. 🤡

If olive oil is made of olives, then baby oil is made of...

Why can Elsa hold a balloon? She will "Let It Go"!

This guy goes to a bar and pulls out a little guy playing the piano. The bartender asks him where he got a small man with a piano.

The guy points outside to a genie granting people wishes. The bartender runs out and 1 million ducks appear.

The bartender yells at the genie saying, “Are you fucking deaf? I asked for 1 million bucks, not 1 million bucks!”

The guy from the bar says, “No shit! You think I really asked for a 12-inch pianist?”

Why did Severus Snape cross the road wearing an invisibility cloak?

So no one would know what side he was on.

I actually want peace, not war.

That's what I always try reminding my girlfriend before beating her up.

Ukrainians leave without saying goodbye.

Russians say goodbye without leaving.

There are a lot of upsides to being an orphan.

For one, you never have to worry about your jokes being family friendly.

I got fired from my paramedic job on the first day. I told an eight-year-old who lost his leg in a car accident to "walk it off."

Q. What's the difference between a Kevlar vest and a CEO?

A. The CEO isn't bulletproof.

If a CEO goes blind, are they just an EO?