Worst Jokes Ever
Q: What do you do with a sick chemist?
A: If you cannot helium, you have to curium. If you cannot curium, you have to barium!
What is the chemical formula for a banana? BaNa2
Two guys are on the playground. One guy says to the other, "Did you know that Hellen Keller had a playground in her backyard?" The other guy said, "No." The first guy says, "Neither did she."
Why was the computer so good at golf? Because he had a hard drive.
What is a panda's favorite cooking implement?
A pan-duh.
If you eat a clock, then does that mean you’ve consumed time?
"Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains!" "What's wrong with me!" "Calm down, calm down. Just pull yourself together!"
I am never letting Elsa take care of my dog again. Last time she just let it go.
What's brown and sounds like a bell?
Dung.
Visiting Alabama? Pop-up dating ads be like: "Never be lonely at cousinsonly.com."
A man walks into his house, only to find out somebody stole all of his lamps. He was absolutely delighted.
Why was the Human Torch arrested?
He had firearms.
I believe a lot of conflict in the Wild West could have been avoided completely if cowboy architects had just made their towns big enough for everyone...
To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office: I will find you... You have my Word.
Q: Why did the trans man only eat salads?
A: Because he is a "herbefore."
Some people think Bin Laden is dead, but some think he's alive.
He is the Al-Qaeda Elvis.
Q: What do you call a Mexican man that lost his car?
A: Carlos.
I didn't fart. My ass likes you so much, it just blew you a kiss!
Whoever killed Adolf Hitler is MY hero!
What does food and dark humour have in common?
Not everybody gets it.