Worst Jokes Ever
I once saw a one-handed man in a second-hand store. I told him, “I don’t think they have what you’re looking for, sir.”
What do you call a dear with no eyes?
I have no eye deer!
What's the LGBTQ+'s favorite cereal?
Fruity Pebbles.
A man walks into a bar "Why am I so bad at Limbo?"
Bill Clinton is no longer playing the saxophone.
He is now playing the whore-monica.
I had a broken vacuum, then I put a One Direction sticker on it and it suddenly sucked again.
What’s worse than finger banging your sister?
Finding your dad’s wedding ring.
Why does an orphan hate the ending of Finding Nemo?
Nemo goes back to his father.
What kind of cheese protects castles?
MOAT-zerrela.
Hey, wanna hear a joke?
Yeah, me too.
Q) What do trees call deforestation?
A) TREASON!
What's the best thing about Switzerland?
I don't know, but the flag is a big plus.
F*ck me!
What is Michael Jackson's favorite place to visit?
"Hee-Heegypt!"
What happens if an Asian with an erection walks into a wall?
He breaks his nose.
Principal: “Why did you have to skip class? Because of that detention!”
Kid: “Whatever!”
Principal: “Why did you have to swear? Because of that one demerit!”
Kid: “Doesn't matter!”
Principal: “Why did you yell at a teacher and throw a chair at them? Because of that you're suspended!”
Kid: “Oh well!”
Principal: “Why did you have to push a kid down the stairs and kill them? Because of that you're expelled!”
Kid: “I'm trying not to kill myself!”
Why does Darth Vader always choke people?
Because he wants them to feel what his Sith Lord does to him in bed.
Why can’t orphans be criminals?
Because they’re not wanted!
I was walking down the street when I saw my ex-girlfriend, so I fucked her. Turns out it was her identical twins that she never told me about.
And I decided to confront her. So I did the next time I saw her, but this time it was her identical triplet. There are 3 of them...
AND SHE NEVER BROUGHT THAT UP IN THE 7 YEARS I WAS DATING HER!
What's the difference between an emo and a banana?
They both hang like apples.