Worst Jokes Ever
If the shoe fits perfectly, why did it fall off?
Why do pizzas not tell jokes?
They're too cheesy.
Why does the orange 🍊 beat the other fruits 🍎 in every race?
Because it never runs out of juice.
So, I know that there are a lot of egg yolks on this website, and I guess I got beat to it, but I'm eggcited to say eggsactly what the eggs say.
I know I'm bad at this, but I hope you will crack up anyway.
What did the butcher say to the pig?
Nice to meat you.
All school meeting introductions:
Grade School: “Welcome Girls and Boys!”
Middle School: “Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome!”
High School: “Fingerers and fingerees.”
"My grandmother used to tell us a joke. She’d say, "Knock knock." We’d say, "Who’s there?" Then she’d say, "I can’t remember"... and start to cry."
So, three daughters were sitting in the same room as their mother. The first daughter asked why she was named Daisy. So, the mother replies, "Because when we were taking you out of the hospital, a daisy landed on your forehead." The second daughter asked why she was named Rose. So, the mother explained, "Same as Daisy, when we were taking you out of the hospital, a rose petal landed on your forehead." The third daughter then said "ksvrjxbdkavdowbxksb," so the mother said, "Shut up, Brick!"
What's the difference between a baby and an onion?
The baby cries when I cut it, but an onion makes me cry when I cut it.
How does Stephen Hawking go to the toilet? He logs out.
When you look at the sun, it's like looking at me.
What is the worst part of milking a cow?
The smell of the dairy air.
Why don't you see black people with Down syndrome?
Because God doesn't punish someone twice.
Orphan jokes are like families, not everyone gets 'em.
(Also, I banged ya mum ;))
How many dead kittens does it take to clog a pool filter? Seven when I tried!
Last time I got a piece of ass was when my finger went through the toilet paper.
What do you call a dog that can do magic?
A Labracadabrador.
The Harry Potter fanbase.
I see some objects over there... oh, never mind, that's a woman.
Chuck Norris lit a campfire, and humans saw the sun for the first time.