Worst Jokes Ever
How many babies does it take to light up a basement?
I don't know, my basement is still dark.
There were three guys stranded on a desert island. Each was granted one wish by a genie that found them. The first guy said, "I wish to go back home." The second guy says the same, and the third guy said, "I'm lonely. I wish my friends were back here."
1: I wish my cancer could kill me quicker so I don't have to do this class anymore.
2: I'm dying, finally.
3: I'm sorry, I can't go to your party because I'm expected to be dead by then.
On a serious note, I might actually have cancer and I'm getting checks. I hope for the best :/
It says enter a joke, but I can't enter my life.
What's a homeless person's favorite cookie?
Pooreos.
What's the difference between a Mexican and a book?
The book has papers.
Cleveland Browns
What does a baby in a blender look like?
I don’t know, I close my eyes when I masturbate.
What is the difference between Trump and a flying pig? The letter F.
What’s made of wood and is zig zag shaped?
Stephen Hawking's coffin.
Your momma is so dumb, she sits on the TV and watches the couch.
What do you call all down syndromes?
Twins.
When does a skeleton laugh?
When someone tickles his funny bone!
Paddy's beautiful wife has not had an orgasm for the 15 years they have been married.
The doctor suggests that she may be overheating during sex, and a cool breeze may help.
Being a bit of a cheapo, he decides not to buy a fan but asks his friend Mick to waft a towel over them during the act.
After half an hour, still no sign of success, so his mate suggests swapping places. "I'll have a try, Paddy, you waft the towel."
Paddy agrees, and after two or three minutes, Paddy's wife has a moment of sexual pleasure, screaming in ecstasy for the first time in 15 years.
Paddy taps his mate Mick on the shoulder and says, "And that, Mick, is how you waft a bloody towel!"
What do you call a mariachi band sinking in Mayonnaise?
Cinco De Mayo.
A man went into a library and asked for a book on how to commit suicide. The librarian said: “Fuck off, you won’t bring it back.”
When you're walking through the garden section at Walmart and you hear your grandpa screaming, "They're in the fucking trees!"
Mom: Daddy, stop!
Me: No!
Mom: Ok, I just wanted you to do it like your father.
Me: Cobain!
Friend: No, dude, it's Kobe.
Me: Why? Cobain didn't miss his last shot.
Why can't two Asians make a white baby?
Because two wongs don't make a white.