Worst Jokes Ever
If you take a cap off a bottle, is it decapitation?
What's the difference between a blonde and the Panama Canal?
One's a busy ditch.
A boy asks a zookeeper, "Why is there a baguette in a cage?"
The zookeeper says, "It's bread in captivity!"
Where do cows go to see the big screen? The mooo-vie theater.
Famous last words: I COULD EAT THIS IN ONE BITE!
What is a frog's favorite drink?
Croaka-cola!
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are all in the 9th grade. Which one is the sexiest?
The blonde, because she’s the only one who’s 18.
I cannot believe Kelly Clarkson's music is considered pop! More like comatose music!
I like my coffee like my women.
Amateur.
Yo mama so old, she was a waitress at the last supper.
What does a race track and your hairline have in common? They both go up and down.
When you find out your wife had a miscarriage,
So you start singing "It’s the best day ever!"
Yo mama is such a slut, she could get slapped by a pack of hot dogs and get pregnant.
How to catch Bigfoot: 1. Dig a large pit. 2. Build a fire in the pit and let it burn all the way to ashes. 3. Place small green peas all around the rim of the pit. 4. Hide in the bushes and wait. When Bigfoot goes to take a pea, kick him in the ash hole.
Why is it so hard to break up with a Japanese girl?
You have to drop the bomb twice before she gets it.
Why does an orphan hate the ending of Finding Nemo?
Nemo goes back to his father.
How many push-ups can Chuck Norris do?
All of them.
What's your religion?
How do you know if there's a vegan in the room?
Wait 2 minutes and they'll tell you.
What do a gay man and an ambulance have in common?
They both take it in the back and go “whoot whoot.”