Worst Jokes Ever
I think fat people took the Hunger Games a little too seriously.
What is the best game for a deaf person?
Charades.
What does a woman and a hurricane have in common?
They’re nice and wet at first, but in the end they take everything.
One time my dad was an orphan, so I questioned where he learned to parent.
Why are Black people getting stronger?
Because the TVs are getting bigger.
Sophia matched with a midget on Tinder.
Midget: Hey! What’s up?
Sophia: Well technically everything is, from your perspective!
How do you know it’s a gay guy’s birthday?
Depends how hard they blow out the candles.
Yo mama so ugly, when I put her next to a naked mole rat, it said "bluetooth connected."
I like my women how I like my scotch: 11 years old and mixed with Coke.
I used to be in a special needs class, and the teacher sent a student (if you want to call them that) out to the hall for being late.
I asked her, "Why did you send James out to the hall?"
She said, "He was a little tardy."
I replied to her, "I thought they all were."
I heard that cataracts are the third leading cause of blindness...
... the first two being politics and religion.
What do Santa Claus and Bill Cosby have in common?
They both come while you’re asleep.
How do you throw a surprise party at the hospital?
Throw a strobe light in the epileptic ward.
What do you do when a woman is choking?
Back up a couple inches.
I saw my wife at the dam yesterday, which sucks because I wanted her to flow further down.
Three ladies were on a flight when suddenly the captain announced, "Please prepare for a crash landing."
The first lady put on all her jewelry. Surprised by this, the other ladies questioned her actions. The first lady replied, "Well, when they come to rescue us they will see that I am rich and will rescue me first." The second lady, not wanting to be left behind, began to take off her top and bra. "Why are you doing that?" the other ladies questioned. "Well, when they come to rescue us, they will see my great tits and will take me first." The third lady who was African, not wanting to be outdone, took off her pants and panties. "Why are you doing that?" the other ladies questioned. "Well, they always search for the black box first."
Why were the Twin Towers mad?
Because they bought a pepperoni pizza, but they got plane.
Why was Mrs. Claus upset?
Because Santa only comes once a year.
I flew a paper airplane and I rate it 9/11.
What did the planes say when they were smashing or passing the Twin Towers?
Smash.
(Get it?) 9/11.