Worst Jokes Ever
So I was at a restaurant and I really hit it off with the waitress, so one thing led to another and I'm at her place and she was really nice at the IHOP but when I was there with her she was all like "ahhh! what are you doing!?!?!? how did you get in my house?!?!?" and then she punched me and I'm the one who ended up in prison.
Why is Santa's sack always full?
Because he only comes once a year.
What's the difference between Batman and a Black man???
Batman can go out at night without Robin.
"Pull down your pants, pull out my willy, stir your guts round like a hot bowl of chili."
Are you a blanket? Because I love it when you’re on top of me.
I got LEGOs for Christmas, and my friend got her father's headstone.
Did you make your bed this morning? Wanna unmake it together?
How do rappers stay warm in the winter?
They drop FIRE TRACKS.
what do baby’s and grenades have in common?
They both are silent but then when thrown at someone make a loud noise
Why was 10 scared?
Because it was in the middle of 9/11.
Yo mama so fat when she went to the movie theater, she sits next to everyone.
I was on the train today and saw a cow on it.
It was quite strange until I realized it was Alfie's mum.
Ur mum so fat that when she walked into a bar, they said, "Sorry, we don't sell food here."
How much alcohol does JFK prefer to drink?
3 shots.
Why are orphans so good at tennis?
They never get love.
How do I fix a broken light bulb? I don't. I simply blow up the house.
The Twin Towers ordered a pepperoni pizza, then they got plane.
This is how big cats were named.
"I HATE BIG CATS. THAT ONE IS A LIAR, THAT ONE IS A CHEATER. THE ONE IS A POO-MA."
"Lion. Cheetah. Puma. You're getting a promotion."
Why did Severus Snape cross the road wearing an invisibility cloak?
So no one would know what side he was on.
Ukrainians leave without saying goodbye.
Russians say goodbye without leaving.