Worst Jokes Ever
My girlfriend broke up with me, so I took her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?
What was the name of the Mexican that lost his car?
Carlos.
Your forehead is so big, a whole jungle grew on it.
Why do cow milking stools only have three legs?
Because the cow has the udder!
TEST QUESTION: what looks like half an apple?
My cousin: the other half.
Royal aka ZEPHYR gets cucked daily by Tyrone.
ZEPHYR watches Tyrone give his wife the genes he could never give her. What a loser.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to go to KFC.
Two people are in a restaurant. Person #1 doesn’t order anything, and Person #2 orders a chili.
Person #1: “Aren’t you gonna eat your bowl of chili?”
Person #2: “No, you can have it.”
Person #1: “Ok, thanks...”
Person 1 starts eating his food only to find half of a dead rat! He vomits all of the food back into the bowl.
Person #2: “That’s about as far as I got too!”
What do you call a person with no arms?
Armless.
No, it's harmless.
What part of a vegetable can you not eat?
The wheelchair.
What's the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms?
One's a good year, and one's a great year.
What’s the speed limit in bed?
It’s 68. Once you hit 69, you have to turn back around.
A man from France, a man from Britain, and a man from New York are on an expedition to the Amazon Forest. After a while, they get lost. As they are walking, suddenly the bushes jump up into the air, and men with spears are there.
One man says, "Hey, you're in our sacred land. So, what we are going to do is skin you and then use your flesh to make canoes. But we aren’t that crazy, so we will let you choose how you die."
The man from France said, "Bring me the poison."
The man from Britain said, "Bring me the gun."
And the man from New York said, "Bring me a fork."
The guy was confused with the fork but still brought the items and gave them to them. The guy from France said, “For France!” and drank the poison and died. The man from Britain said, “Long live the Queen!” and shot himself and died. And the man from New York started stabbing himself with the fork and said, “MAKE A CANOE OUT OF THIS YOU FUCKERS!”
My mom tells me and my sister to stop fighting. "Mom! You and Dad need to stop!"
What do you call a disabled person who gets high?
Baked potato.
Why did the orphan commit crimes? To know what it's like to be wanted.
What do you call a basement full of SJW's?
A whine cellar.
Where do math teachers go on vacation? Times Square.
Women suck (GET IT?!)
Q. What's the most musical bone?
A. The trom-bone!