Worst Jokes Ever

You know, the earth was flat till they buried your mama.

I walked into an orphanage and a kid was crying. I asked him what was wrong and he said some kids were bullying him. I told him to go tell his parents.

What punishment are teachers unable to do to orphans?

Call their parents.

What's the difference between an orphan and a baseball player?

The baseball player knows where home base is.

Why can't orphans really play baseball?

Because when they do, all the other kids tell that joke that everyone has heard more than 50 times.

A friend called me a while back saying, "I have COVID.... I can't breathe, I really have a hard time breathing."

I reply saying, "Dude, you need to work on your George Floyd jokes."

Doctors in the Middle Ages, Plague doctor: "I must have some herbs to block out bad air."

Doctors now: "God, WTF were we doing back then?"

What does Kobe now have in common with his helicopter?

They both have torn rotators.

Mom asks, "Why are you are THIS show??? It's DISTRACTING you from SCHOOL!!!!!"

The child says, "Don't you mean SCHOOL is distracting ME from this AWESOME show?"

Mom whispers, "Oh, you DEAD."

Just because you‘re suicidal, you don‘t have to be a quitter.

Wait, actually.

Yo mama so fat, her cheeks are in different time zones.

Why do orphans love chips?

Because every bag of chips is family size.

Why was the kid's report card all wet?

Because it was below "sea" level.

You're the type of person to wash your hands after a shower.

Jantje goes on a walk with his grandmother. Jantje sees 1 dollar on the street and picks it up.

The grandmother says: "Hey, Jantje! No picking up things from the floor! They are ugly and bad!"

Then they keep walking. The grandmother slips and asks Jantje to help her stand up. Jantje answers: "No! Everything on the ground is ugly and bad."

What do you call a party planned by Bill Cosby and Jeffrey Epstein?

A high school pill party.

What is the best way to get chewing gum out of your hair?

Cancer.

What's something a depressed person can do that a regular person can't?

The depressed person can scan themself.

Hey guys, how was your day?

If you ask me the same question, here's the answer: depressing.

I still haven't made any friends on this app. All I do is read and comment on old jokes or opinions.

KFC doesn't mean Kentucky Fried Chicken, it means "Kill Fat Children."