Worst Jokes Ever
Why can’t skeletons fight? They don’t have the guts.
A ham sandwich walks into a bar, and orders a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve food here."
What movie do atheists watch for Christmas?
"Coincidence on 34th Street."
Looks like someone's funny bone's broken!
It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it.
Which fish is the most famous?
The star fish!
"Why don't you want to taco 'bout it?"
"Cause I'm nacho friend anymore."
Why was the computer so good at golf? Because he had a hard drive.
"Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains!" "What's wrong with me!" "Calm down, calm down. Just pull yourself together!"
What is a panda's favorite cooking implement?
A pan-duh.
Q: What do you call a Mexican that lost his car?
A: Carlos.
I got a reversible jacket for Christmas, I can't wait to see how it turns out.
What do you call a 100-year-old frog?
An old croak!
Yo mama so ugly, she made Kanye West go east.
What's worse than having an honorary degree from Harvard? Being homeless and having an honorary degree from Harvard.
Why did Sally fall off of the swing?
Because she has no arms.
Knock knock.
"Who's there?"
Not Sally.
What do you call an arrow pointing the wrong way?
A Disap point ment.
What did the bull say to his son when he was going to school? "Bison!"
Hi, everyone. Serious question. Would it be illegal to decapitate a worm? Asking for a friend, he's so worried we're going to jail. I'm not. I'm fine. Please reply fast.
I play saxophone, and I like to tell everyone I am a registered s/o (short for saxophone operator) in hopes of one day starting a jazz band, but now everyone looks at me weird, and when I go to house parties to perform, everyone hides their children, but little do they know I LOVE children. For some reason, I got multiple restraining orders because I said, “I want to touch the kids so they can one day become musicians themselves... like Michael Jackson.” I have then since moved from my hometown to Florida, where I can meet up with other s/o’s, and surprisingly, they have similar stories to me, but they say they have never even touched a saxophone, but they do like touching kids, which I’m all down for, just me and my buddies showing the new youth their abilities.
Update: i figured out what they meant by s/o is not the same as my s/o :(