Worst Jokes Ever
When God created women, it was an accident. He meant to make a man, but then "WHOA-MAN!!"
What do you call a zombie?
Nothing because zombies aren’t real, and if they were, you would be dead.
Why can't a T-Rex clap?
He's dead.
What did the policeman say to his belly button?
You're under a vest.
Me and my grandpa went on a road trip, and he died. That was the last thing we did together, and I will never forget his last words: “WAKE UP YOU DUMBASS!”
Knock knock. Who's there? Depression. Depression who? Depression you!
When you're driving past a graveyard say: "Wow, people were just dying to get in there."
How many dead babies does it take to put in a new light bulb? Not thirteen, cuz my basement is still dark. Let's try fourteen.
So I painted my laptop black, hoping it would run faster... Now it doesn't work.
What do you call an army of disabled people?
Special forces.
Oompa Loompa Doobity doo, I got a glock and it’s pointing at you.
If two vegans are arguing, is it still considered beef?
Yo mama's so stupid, when they said, "Order in the court," she asked for burgers and fries.
Somebody called the cops for a school shooting, what a snitch!
What's the number 1 cause of pedophilia?
Sexy kids.
Stephen Hawking always wins musical chairs, as he’s always sitting down.
A man dies, and his friend is invited to his funeral.
This friend asks his wife, "Can I say a word?"
"Of course," she says.
The man stands up and says, "Plethora!"
The man's wife says, "Thanks, it means a lot!"
Stephen Hawking:
Q: Who Made Stephen Hawkins' Wheel Chair?
A:) Tesla
These jokes are nearly as dead as Steven Hawkings.
Skidaddle skidoodle, your dick is now a noodle!