Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

You know how bad of a person you are when you figure out how long you wait to smash. For me and my girlfriend, it was between the first plane crash and the last tower falling.

Why do vegans like to make their food look and taste like meat?

Same reason lesbians use strap-ons. They still like putting meat in their hole, but they don’t like where real meat comes from.

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    • Why are there no Walmarts in Palestine?

    There are Targets everywhere.

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    • I want to write some jokes about unemployed people, but none of them works.

    What's the worst part about breaking up with a Japanese girl?

    You gotta drop the bomb twice before she gets it.

    A policeman walks up to a van with two priests and says, "We're looking for two child molesters."

    The priests both look at each other for a moment and then say, "Okay, we'll do it."

    What's the fastest way to get to the hospital? Stand in the middle of the road.

    There was a solar eclipse at school and we missed it, but it was alright. Your mum went to NASA and recreated it herself.

    My husband is mad that I have no sense of direction, so I packed up my stuff and left. Right?

    My girlfriend wanted a marriage just like a fairy tale. Fair enough. I gave her a loaf of bread and left her in the forest, telling her we can get married once she makes her way out.

    How to catch Bigfoot: 1. Dig a large pit. 2. Build a fire in the pit and let it burn all the way to ashes. 3. Place small green peas all around the rim of the pit. 4. Hide in the bushes and wait. When Bigfoot goes to take a pea, kick him in the ash hole.