Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call an old black person? Farming antique.
What falls to the ground first if an apple and an emo kid fall from a tree?
The apple because the rope caught the emo kid.
What type of lettuce did they serve on the Titanic? - Iceberg.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a carrier bag? One is plastic and dangerous for kids to play with, and the other is a carrier bag.
Where in hell is Lee Harvey Oswald now when we need him?
Why doesn't Jesus buy beer?
Hebrews.
After getting in the White House, D. Trump gets a letter...
...from the Iranian president. He opens it and to his surprise there is a paper with a weird looking code on it:
370HSSV 0773H
All confused, Trump contacts the FBI and forwards the letter to them in hope they can figure out the meaning, but they weren't able to. Trump gets angry and sends the letter to both the CIA and NSA, and they also fail to figure out the meaning of the letter.
One of the agents suggests Trump ask for MI6's help, so he does and few minutes after a British agent sends a fax to his secretary:
"Tell your president he was holding the letter upside down."
9/11... 911... COINCIDENCE I THINK NOT!
😥This is offensive, sorry: What did the king say to his royal steed? "You gonna start the dishwasher or what?"
What's the similarity between Catholic Priests and McDonalds? They both like sticking their meat in 6-year-old buns.
What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender.
What's all fuzzy, warm, and laughing? The person who snapped its neck and put it into the blender.
How do you drown a blonde? You tape a mirror to the bottom of a 13-foot deep pool.
If Stephen Hawking was so fucking smart, why hasn't he learned to walk yet?
A man gets an email from his doctor.
"Sorry for the delay on getting your prescription, it'll be at your house tomorrow."
The man thinks to himself, "Oh shit! Then what have I been taking?"
How can you compare a gay prostitute to Pacman?
They both get paid to eat 200 balls!
What's got 6 legs, 3 arms, and 3 heads?
The finish line at the Boston marathon.
Two deer walk out of a gay bar. One says to the other, "I blew like 20 bucks in there!"
Why did Timmy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.
Boner.
What's red, 6 inches long, and makes my girlfriend cry when I feed it to her?
Her miscarriage.