Worst Jokes Ever
What is Stephen Hawking's favorite snack? His shoulder.
Your dad never needed a van for you.
What do you say when you see a pig making bread?
He's bacon.
Your mama so fat, when Santa saw her he said, "Ho, ho, holy s***!"
Why did Steven Hawking die?
He lost Wi-Fi connection and didn't get the data plan.
I'd love it if you killed yourself, but Hitler killed himself and people still hate him...
What's the best part of being a pedophile? You will never have a wife.
Why couldn't the chicken cross the road?
Because it was disabled.
What’s the difference between Jesus and a hooker?
The look on their face when you're nailing them.
What is Donald Trump’s favorite nation? – Discrimination.
What's red, small, wet, and crawls up your leg?
A homesick abortion.
What did Mario say when he broke up with Princess Peach?
It's not you, it's a-me, Mario!
I was trying to poison Santa, but he killed my dad and ate all the cookies! 😤
A Mexican magician said he would disappear on the count of three. He said, "Uno, dos," and disappeared without a tres!
What’s one good thing about child molesters? They drive slow in a school zone.
What do you call a Mexican in the zombie apocalypse?
Answer: "Sweet and spicy chicken."
What do you do if you're ever attacked by a gang of clowns?
Go for the juggler!
Your forehead's so big that Michael Jackson could moonwalk across that b*tch.
What songs do people with no arms listen to?
None, 'cause they can’t press play.
A man walks into a bar and sees a jar of ten dollar bills, so he asks the bartender if it's a jar of tips. The bartender says no, it's for a bet. So the man asks what the bet is and the bartender says, "Well, if you put ten dollars into the jar then knock out the bouncer, next you go outside and remove a rotten tooth out of the rottweiler's mouth, and last you go upstairs and give an orgasm to the fat lady who has never had one. If you can do all those things then you get everything in the jar as well as free drinks for the month." So the guy puts in ten dollars, turns to the guy next to him and knocks him out with one punch. Then the guy continues outside, all you hear for an hour is screaming and whining from the dog. When all is silent, the man walks in and asks, "So where is the fat lady with the tooth?"