Worst Jokes Ever
What does my arm have in common with paper?
They both can be cut.
My grandma always said, "Slow and steady wins the race."
She died in a fire.
Seeing one of her students making faces at others in the playground, Mrs. Matthews stopped to gently reprove the child. Smiling sweetly, the teacher said, "When I was a child, I was told if I made ugly faces I would stay like that."
The student looked up and replied, "Well, you canโt say you werenโt warned, Mrs. Matthews!"
My husband is mad that I have no sense of direction, so I packed up my stuff and left. Right?
What's the worst part about breaking up with a Japanese girl?
You gotta drop the bomb twice before she gets it.
"Explain bear is a homosexual, confirmed."
What do LGBTQ folk and folk with scoliosis have in common?
None of them are straight.
Why do vegans like to make their food look and taste like meat?
Same reason lesbians use strap-ons. They still like putting meat in their hole, but they donโt like where real meat comes from.
Why are there no Walmarts in Palestine?
There are Targets everywhere.
What website should you go to to look up LSD dealers?
TripAdvisor.com
What do you call a party planned by Bill Cosby and Jeffrey Epstein?
A high school pill party.
Why do orphans hate Ted Bundy? Cause he's the most wanted.
Why are orphans so good at GTA?
Because they're not wanted.
What does a mother fear most?
Hearing "YOU ARE NOT THE FATHER!" for 5 different men.
I got so drunk with the guys yesterday that when the Uber driver asked how many drinks I had, I said, "Yes."
When the quiet kid gets angry and the sped kid sees your hiding spot.
Bing, bang, boom!
I learned my dad got into a car crash this morning.
And my driver's license got revoked too.
What do you call a non-binary person that is lactose intolerant?
Non-buy dairy.
Roses are red, Violets are fine, You can be the six, And I can be the nine.
Why is there no gambling in Africa?
Too many Cheetahs.