Worst Jokes Ever
How do you blindfold an Asian?
You use dental floss.
Your forehead is so big that your face touches your chin.
Why can't Asians play Baseball?
Because they ate the bat.
That joke didn't land well, did it?
My friend said my life was a joke.
No jokes have meaning.
You look like something I drew with my left hand.
Roses are red, violets are blue, if you take Kirby’s food, he will stab you.
A woman brought her hamster to the vet. The vet takes a look and concludes the hamster died.
The woman doesn't believe it and requests further investigation. So the vet lets in a Labrador. The dog sniffs around the hamster and shortly after he produces a sad whine, shakes his head and leaves the room with his tail low.
The woman, still not convinced, demands more examinations. The vet gets one of his cats. It walks around the hamster and pets it. After some time it shakes her head and runs off quickly.
"Fine, I believe you now," the woman says, "my beloved hamster is dead." "I'm sorry for your loss," the vet replies. "Your bill for this visit will be 1505 dollars," says the vet. "What? 1505 dollars just to tell me my hamster is dead?" The woman says shocked.
The vet replies: "No, 5 dollars to tell your hamster died, 500 dollars for the lab report and 1000 dollars for the CAT scan."
My cousin is in a wheelchair and wanted to battle.
So I went up a step and said, "It's over Anakin, I have the high ground!"
I was exploring the Dubai trophy factory when someone came crashing in. It was him, Pristiano Penaldo. He held the workers at gunpoint, forcing them to make him another plastic Mickey Mouse award or he will dive and sue them for assaulting him. Shame on you, pendu!
Stop hating on pedophiles. At least they're good babysitters.
Me: I have depression.
Someone: You should get out more! Go outside!
Me: *goes to the beach* Now it's a tropical depression.
What's the only type of abortion Republicans will never try to legislate against?
A school shooting.
I just saw people writing "Zoophile," "Ailurophile," and "Dendrophilia" in their bios. I thought this was cool, but when I wrote "Necrophile" and "Pedophile," I don't know why people started hating me as if I did something wrong. I was just trying to be cool like them, man.
Did you know there was a record for the quickest time to finish a story? The day it was set was 9/11. 99 stories in .4 seconds.
Yo mama so fat, she is one of the boulders in Indiana Jones.
Titanic walks into a bar. Britannic: "What would you like to drink?" Titanic: "An iceberg."
What are the wedding vows of a suicide bomber?
Til death do we park.
You have to have real balls to face prostate cancer.
Just not for long!
I'm a gay depressed person. Would that make me a happy unhappy person?