Worst Jokes Ever
What do sex and food have in common?
Grandma makes both better.
A policeman walks up to a van with two priests and says, "We're looking for two child molesters."
The priests both look at each other for a moment and then say, "Okay, we'll do it."
What's the fastest way to get to the hospital? Stand in the middle of the road.
A boy asks his father:
"What is politics?"
Father answers:
"It’s very simple! You see, I bring in the money, so I’m big business. Your mother spends the money, so she’s the government.
Your grandfather sees to it that everything is managed in an orderly way. So he’s the law.
Our maid is the working class.
Everything revolves around your interests, so you’re the people. Your little baby brother represents the future."
The boy has to think it over. That night he hears his little brother crying due to a dirty diaper. He doesn’t know what to do, so he goes to the bedroom of his parents. There his mother is sound asleep. He goes to the bedroom of the maid, but his father is there fucking the maid — and oddly enough his grandfather is watching through the window.
Nobody notices the boy and he returns to his bed.
The next day his father asks him:
"So, can you now explain to me what politics is?"
The boy says:
"Yes, it’s all become clear to me!
Big business screws over the working class while the law watches and the government sleeps. The people are ignored and the future lies in shit."
Yo mama is so fat, when she nocliped into the backrooms, she was in level 0 and level 999 at the same time.
Whenever I go to bed, my wife disappears, but whenever I turn on the lights at night, she’s back in bed.
Does Eminem like M\&M's? Cause if he didn't, that would be like "they're" not liking "there."
How do you know if there's a vegan in the room?
Wait 2 minutes and they'll tell you.
What makes a 360 no-scope and JFK's assassination similar?
Both were some of the greatest achievements in history to achieve.
Yo mama's so ugly, she went into a strip club and got paid to keep her clothes on.
"How would you describe yourself in three words?"
"Lazy!"
What do you call a bunny with a bent dick?
Fucks funny.
Hatsune Miku is not from an anime.
What does my arm have in common with paper?
They both can be cut.
My grandma always said, "Slow and steady wins the race."
She died in a fire.
Seeing one of her students making faces at others in the playground, Mrs. Matthews stopped to gently reprove the child. Smiling sweetly, the teacher said, "When I was a child, I was told if I made ugly faces I would stay like that."
The student looked up and replied, "Well, you can’t say you weren’t warned, Mrs. Matthews!"
My husband is mad that I have no sense of direction, so I packed up my stuff and left. Right?
What's the worst part about breaking up with a Japanese girl?
You gotta drop the bomb twice before she gets it.
"Explain bear is a homosexual, confirmed."
What do LGBTQ folk and folk with scoliosis have in common?
None of them are straight.