Worst Jokes Ever
What do you do when your dishwasher stops working?
Hit your wife harder.
I hate snow. It's white and on my land.
How do you make a pink Smurf?
You peel the skin off.
What do Logan Paul, KSI, and the Japanese suicide victim have in common?
Tying.
Me: (pointing up in the air) "Everybody listen up, this is a robbery!"
Girl: "Dude, this is a library."
Me: "Oh." (screwing on a silencer)
Why don't dinosaurs lay eggs?
Because they're EGGstinct!
Don't tell a Titanic joke, or you'll sink to a whole new low.
So, Satan is in the delivery room having a child.
Soon, a feathered creature comes out. "Doctor," says Satan, "What is it?"
The doctor sighs. "Well, it's not a boy, and it's not a girl."
Satan looks frustrated. "THEN WHAT IS IT?!?!?"
The doctor looks up. "It's a goose."
What do you call a blonde in the freezer?
Her parents named her Cindy, so we should probably continue to call her that. She was supposed to graduate tomorrow.
Why did the lion always lose at poker?
He was playing with a bunch of cheetahs.
Why did Bob fall off the swing while playing? Because he had no arms.
Knock, knock. Who's there?
Not Bob.
What was the last thing going through the minds of the 9/11 jumpers?
Their ankles.
Q: How do you make a pool table laugh?
A: Tickle its balls.
Why was the boy crying?
He had a frog stapled to his face.
My doctor said, "You have 1 year to live."
I said, "You wanna bet?"
Bam, a gunshot!
My old platoon sergeant always told me the hardest thing when walking through a field of dead babies was... his cock.
What do cigarettes and hamsters have in common?
They can both be dangerous when you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire.
Jack and Jill went up the Jill so Jack could lick Jill's fanny, but Jack had a shock with a mouthful of cock because was actually a tranny.
Chuck Norris doesn't get sun burns. The sun knows better.
What do you call a woman with three boobs? Tres leches.