Worst Jokes Ever
Q: Can orphans hit a home run?
A: No, they don't know what it's like to have a home to run to.
You're so skinny that you use Chapstick as deodorant.
I hate double standards. If you burn a body at a crematorium, you're doing a good job. If you burn a body at home, you're destroying evidence.
My girlfriend told me to stop playing Pokemon as it was childish.
I started thrashing about and roared, “You don’t have enough badges to control me!”
Yo mama so stupid, she said, "Where are my gifts?" on Father's Day.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to find their dad again.
Son: Hey Dad, what's an alcoholic?
Dad: Well son, do you see those 4 cars? An alcoholic would see 8.
Son: Dad, there are only 2 cars.
What's the point of hiding the screaming speed bump you ran over? You might as well hit it again to A: Stop the screaming. B: Make it look like an actual speed bump. And C... You think it's hilarious the noise it makes when you ran over its stomach.
What's the best thing about midgets??
They don't need to bend while giving blowjobs.
Why was the staircase so sad?
Because everyone walks on them.
Some people ask why jokes exist. I say, when a mommy and daddy love each other very much, they have sex, and they make another one of you.
When you’re fucking your boss and realize it’s a family business.
What is worse than 16 babies in 16 dumpsters? One baby in 16 dumpsters.
What do you call a kid watching Star Wars by themselves?
Hans Solo.
I can't decide which side to take on abortion; on one hand it kills babies and on the other it gives women a choice...
Why do Down's kids blend in in geometry?
Their foreheads are angled.
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Seven’s been worried about six even since he left Afghanistan. Every time 6 closes his eyes, he sees the war and hears the gunshots. He sees the blood, the killing, the death, and soldiers falling. When he looks at seven, he remembers when they were forced to eat their own flesh to not starve in those caves. He sees the war and the flashbacks will come back forever, burned into his soul and mind.
If we're all God's children, what's so special about Jesus?
The fat kid asked the teacher, "Is Godzilla real?" The teacher said, "They're standing right in front of me."
What's worse than 1000 dead babies hanging off a tree?
1 dead baby hanging off 1000 trees.