Worst Jokes Ever
Is it incest if it’s out in the open?
Or is it... outcest?
I don't trust atoms. They always make stuff up.
Why did the carrot roll down the hill?
Because he couldn't stop his wheelchair.
What is it called when Bill Cosby and an illegal immigrant fight?
Aliens vs. Predator
A slag is like the first piece of bread in a loaf. Everyone touches it, but nobody wants it.
Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?
To get to the bottom.
What's better than swinging a baby around on a rope?
Stopping it with a shovel.
Once my dad left to get milk, then I realized we own a cow.
kys
America once was known as an Obama nation. Now we're known as an abomination.
What is a school shooter's favorite animal?
A Desert Eagle.
After getting in the White House, D. Trump gets a letter...
...from the Iranian president. He opens it and to his surprise there is a paper with a weird looking code on it:
370HSSV 0773H
All confused, Trump contacts the FBI and forwards the letter to them in hope they can figure out the meaning, but they weren't able to. Trump gets angry and sends the letter to both the CIA and NSA, and they also fail to figure out the meaning of the letter.
One of the agents suggests Trump ask for MI6's help, so he does and few minutes after a British agent sends a fax to his secretary:
"Tell your president he was holding the letter upside down."
A blind guy shot up a town.
I guess he couldn’t see the road to heaven.
Me: "I like kids."
What car does Hitler drive?
A Fuhrerri.
Why couldn't the lizard get a girlfriend?
Because he had a reptile dysfunction!
Your forehead's so big, it's built like Megamind's robot, period.
China has a population of a billion people. One billion.
That means even if you’re a one in a million kind of guy, there are still a thousand others exactly like you.
I was walking by a prison when I saw a midget in an orange jumpsuit climbing down the fence. When he hit the ground and sneered at me, I said, “Well, that’s a little condescending.”
What's the difference between a baby and an onion?
One cries when you peel its skin off, the other makes you cry when you peel its skin off.