Worst Jokes Ever
Mom, can I please go out and play?
... no answer.
Can a match box? No, but a tin can.
How do Asians name their kids?
They throw pots and pans down the stairs. (ching chong dong)
Q: What's a pedophile's favorite thing about Halloween?
A: Free delivery.
Dear Autocorrect, I never wanted to spell the word "bigger".
9/11 wasn’t a terrorist attack, it was the world’s introduction to Sky Football
Why is reverse cowgirl banned in Alabama? Because you never turn your back on family.
A blind woman tells her boyfriend that she’s seeing someone. It’s either terrible news or great news.
Why is Stephen Hawking going to hell?
Because it’s a stairway to heaven, not a ramp.
I love it when candy canes are in mint condition.
Why did the cow not want to talk to the other cow? Because they had beef with each other.
What did the two paintings say after a long battle?
Let's call this one a draw.
Why did the little girl's ice cream melt?
She was on fire.
1 and 2 fell in love. The 2 said, "You're the only 1 for me!"
Life is like giving head... it always sucks.
What do you call a retreat in war?
A backup plan.
What do you call a stalker stalking himself? A narcissist.
How is Stephen Hawking so smart? He uploads it to his software.
Why can't all guys be more like Kenny? He doesn't get all upset when his mom isn't in the mood.
My dad coming back.