Worst Jokes Ever

KFC doesn't mean Kentucky Fried Chicken, it means "Kill Fat Children."

My dad and I were fishing one day.

That’s where he met my stepmom.

One depressed kid goes to high-five a tree, but the tree just left him hanging.

What is a ghost's favorite cake?

I scream cake!

What do you call an Indian lesbian?

Mingeeta.

I rate you a 9/11.

Two cows are grazing in a field.

One cow says to the other, "You ever worry about that mad cow disease?"

The other cow says, "Why would I care? I'm a helicopter!"

How do you know if spaghetti is a boy or a girl? It's meatballs.

I'm the second worst thing to happen to those orphans.

Why was the tower of Pisa leaning?

They had better reflexes than the trading center.

What did the kamikaze instructor say to the students?

"Okay guys, watch very carefully because I can only show you this demonstration once."

Playing Russian roulette alone means you're bound to be a winner eventually.

All these suicide jokes are f***ing killing me.

What's the difference between a bridge and a burrito?

I can't jump off a burrito.

I was in a motivational seminar about depression the other day, and she said I could be anything I wanted to be if I put my mind to it. Sometimes you just have to bite the bullet and do it, even if it's messy.

Someone was throwing Stephen King books at everyone. I had no idea why though...

Then IT hit me.

I was on an orphan's website, but I pressed on his profile and realized he had no home page.

Today we had a test on September 11th in school. I got a 9/11.

What did they give Elmo before he left the factory? Two test-tickles.

Why does Sans say "I got a bone to pick with you?"

Because he needs to pick your balls.