Worst Jokes Ever
Being raped until feminists are offended and butthurt.
Roses are blood red, violets are twilight-hued; your blood was delectable, and so was the rest of you.
Did you know pigeons die after sex?
At least when I fucked it.
My doctor is a very attractive woman; gorgeous face, nice boobs, smoking hot body. She said to me, “You are in your 50’s now, you have GOT to stop masturbating.” I asked why. She replied, “Because I’m trying to examine you, ya’ pervert!!!”
A man comes home and finds his wife in bed with another guy. "What's going on here!?" he exclaims.
The wife replies, "See, I told you he was stupid."
What does a dyslexic zombie eat? Brian's, hahahahaha!
One day, there were two muffins in an oven. One of the muffins said, "Man, it's hot in here." The other one said, "Oh my god! A talking muffin!!!"
His name rhymes with walking and talking, but he can’t do either.
A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.
What do you call Stephen Hawking on fire? "HOT WHEELS"
Freddie Mercury was on top of the music world. That's only the 2nd thing he was a top in.
What did the cowboy say to the girl on the beach?
"Sandy cheeks."
Q: Give a man a day of therapy, he'll be sad for then and on.
A: Give a man a noose, he'll be sad for the rest of his life.
The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumeference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
What goes "Ooooooo"?
A cow with no lips.
Stephen Hawking walked into a bar...
Where were the first orange trees 🍊🌳 planted?
In Orange County.
How did Protestants perform in the 16th century? Well done.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Draggin’.
Draggin’ who?
Draggin’ these balls around yo’ face.
I want to write some jokes about unemployed people, but none of them works.