Worst Jokes Ever
How do you make any salad into a Caesar salad? You stab it 23 times.
When a clock goes forward, it's tic-tac, but when Rommel goes backwards, it's tactic!
A tiny psychic escaped from jail, and the news said there a small medium at large.
Somebody told me a chemistry joke. I thought it was sodium funny, I slapped my neon that one.
I'm sorry for all the fish puns. I feel so GILL-ty.
What's worse than a baby in a trash can?
A trash can in a baby.
What is the most dangerous mountain? Kilimanjaro.
I love the smell of my F5 key. It's very refreshing.
Déjà Moo: The feeling you've heard this bull before.
What is the highest number?
420.
What's the difference between a feminist and a pencil?
One of them has a POINT:)
What do you call a cow eating grass?
A Lawn Moo-er.
A guy goes onto a rooftop bar and is sitting next to a guy who says he’s drinking a magical drink. He asks, “What’s so magical about it?” The guy drives a car and flies it around the rooftop. The other tries, but falls off and dies.
The bartender shakes his head and says, “Y’know, you’re a real jerk when you’re drunk, Superman.”
Last night I had a dream I was swimming in lemonade... turns out I peed the bed.
Why did Steven Hawking's snot not go to heaven?
Because there is no ramp to heaven.
What's the best thing about a blowjob?
- The silence.
What kind of fish comes out at night?
A starfish.
How do you turn a baby into a dog?
Douse it in gasoline, light a match, *WOOF*!
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a dead pedophile? Nothing.
You're the type of person to play "Girl on Fire" during a funeral.