Worst Jokes Ever
What do parents tell little boys to make them behave?
"Be good, or when you're asleep, Michael Jackson will get you!"
Sup peoples?
Do you ever look at a person and think, "Just how many generations of inbreeding did it take to create you?"
Why are most absent dads mechanics?
They like to nut and bolt.
What separates bad jokes from dad jokes?
Condoms.
What do a mag and a clip have in common? They are both good at school.
Yo mama so fat, when she took a picture of herself, her phone ran out of storage.
What does my arm have in common with paper?
They both can be cut.
Used to laugh at Michael Jackson for wearing gloves and a mask...
Yet here I am, stuck at home in this COVID-19 "Thriller," beating it...
What's the difference between a priest and a pimple?
A pimple will wait until you're 12 years old to come on your face.
A daughter asked her mother, “Mom, how do you spell ‘scrotum’?”
Her mom replied, “Honey, you should have asked me last night—it was on the tip of my tongue.”
A girl goes to a Church to confess.
Girl: "Forgive me father for I have sinned."
Priest: "What have you done my child?"
Girl: "I called a man a son of a bitch."
Priest: "Why did you call him a son of a bitch?"
Girl: "Because he touched my hand."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he touches her hand)
Girl: "Yes father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call a man a son of a bitch."
Girl: "Then he touched my breast."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he touched her breast)
Girl: "Yes father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."
Girl: "Then he took off my clothes, father."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he takes off her clothes)
Girl: "Yes father."
Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."
Girl: "Then he stuck his you know what into my you know where."
Priest: "Like this?" (as he stuck his you know what into her you know where)
Girl: "YES FATHER, YES FATHER, YES FATHER!!!"
(after a few minutes)
Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch."
Girl: "But father, he had AIDS!"
Priest: "THAT SON OF A BITCH!!!"
If 2 + 2 is 4, and 4 + 4 is 8, then that must mean I can lick your pussy.
What is the difference between a lesbian and a female prostitute?
If you want a female prostitute to be a bitch, you have to give her money first.
What kind of club is every parent afraid of their kid joining?
The Mikey Jackson club.
How do you spell the name of the most dangerous pedophile?
M-I-C-H-A-E-L J-O-S-E-P-H J-A-C-K-S-O-N
Q: Do you know why orphans rob banks?
A: Because it's a guarantee they'll be wanted afterwards.
I was playing football and this guy comes to me, he was in a wheelchair.
We started playing rocket league.
Q: Why can’t orphans be criminals?
A: They are not wanted.
I would kiss your lips, but your legs are blocking the way.
If you know, you know. 😏😏
A friend called me a while back saying, "I have COVID.... I can't breathe, I really have a hard time breathing."
I reply saying, "Dude, you need to work on your George Floyd jokes."