Worst Jokes Ever

You're so ugly, when you went to the makeup store, it shut down.

What do you say to a depressed person on the ceiling?

Hang in there!

What was Michael Jackson's answer to the parents of the little boys who were left with him when asked why does he do it that way? Tell them that it's human nature.

I farted in my grandma's breathing machine.

Today I was at PE, and I saw a kid in a wheelchair. I threw a basketball at him, and I yelled, "Rocket League!"

Me: Wanna play a game?

Sister: Ya, what is it?

Me: Tic tac toe.

Sister:?

Takes out knife and rolls up sleeve.

Me: Tic tac toe.

A priest, a minister, and a rabbit walk into a blood bank.

The rabbit says, "I think I'm a type-O."

What's the difference between Woody from Toy Story and a Catholic priest?

One goes limp when a child walks in the room.

An old man takes his grandson fishing in a local pond one day.

After 20 minutes of fishing, the old man fires up a cigar. The young boy asks, "Grandpa, can I have a cigar?" The old man asks, "Son, can your dick touch your asshole?" The young boy says no. "Then u can't have a cigar." Another 20 minutes passes, and the old man opens a beer. The young boy asks, "Grandpa, can I have a beer?" The old man asks, "Son, can your dick touch your asshole?" The young boy says no. "Well, then u can't have a beer."

Another 20 minutes passes and the young boy opens a bag of potato chips.

The old man asks, "Son, can I have some of your chips?" The boy asks, "Well, Grandpa, can your dick touch your asshole?" The old man says, "It sure can." The boy says, "Well good, then go fuck yourself, these are my chips."

"Just say NO to drugs!" Well, if I'm talking to drugs, I probably already said yes.

What do you call a gay drive-by?

A fruit roll up.

Actually, Iron Man is female.

My son was thrown out of school for letting a schoolgirl wank him off.

"That's the third school this year..." I said to my son, "... Maybe teaching isn't for you."

What was one phrase Michael Jackson said to a boy in his bed? Baby, be mine.

What do you call an emo with no legs?

Emobile.

What’s an orphan's favorite drink?

Fosters.

I had a friend who was a dwarf. He committed suicide. He jumped off a curb.

I was going to talk about your chin, but I wasn't sure which one to write about.

What's the quickest way to go to the hospital? Just stand in the middle of a busy road.

Why does USA suck at Clash Royale? They already lost two towers.