Worst Jokes Ever
What happens when you combine candy and dick? That creepy guy down the street!
Why is Martin Luther King so bad at laundry?
He won't separate the whites from the colors...
Did you guys see on the news where they arrested that pervert at the Michaels Crafts store?
He was running around completely naked and had sprinkled glitter all over his testicles. I guess it was pretty nuts.
How do Asians name their kids?
They throw pots and pans down the stairs. (ching chong dong)
A Christian Missionary walks up to some people and says, "Come! Meet Jesus!"
One of the guys takes out a knife and says, "You first."
Three men walk into a bar... you would have thought the last one would have ducked.
Q: How many dead hookers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Not three. My damn basement is still dark...
What do you call a fruit that argues against the position it supports?
The Devil's advocado.
I love telling stories as theatrical plays. When we had a free dress day near Christmas, my teacher dressed up as a reindeer, so I got my teacher involved... and shot her.
Have you heard about the lemming that jumped off a cliff into an ocean?
I heard it was because of pier pressure.
What is black and white and is dead?
My Chemical Romance.
"Where exactly are you taking me, doctor?"
"To the morgue."
"But I'm not dead yet!"
"But we're not there yet."
How did Stephen Hawking get up the stairway to heaven?
Bippity Boppity Bill Cosby!
Bend over and spell run.
What's the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?
It only takes one nail to hang up the picture.
What's the best part about having emo grass?
It cuts itself!
What do you call a cow that is really sad? Utterly Depressed. HEHEHEHE
How do trees calculate square roots? They use log-arithms.
You've probably heard this one before, but screw it.
What's the difference between Jesus Christ and the kid I just killed?
Jesus Christ probably died a virgin.