Worst Jokes Ever
What do Logan Paul, KSI, and the Japanese suicide victim have in common?
Tying.
Why don't dinosaurs lay eggs?
Because they're EGGstinct!
How do you make a pink Smurf?
You peel the skin off.
Me: (pointing up in the air) "Everybody listen up, this is a robbery!"
Girl: "Dude, this is a library."
Me: "Oh." (screwing on a silencer)
So, Satan is in the delivery room having a child.
Soon, a feathered creature comes out. "Doctor," says Satan, "What is it?"
The doctor sighs. "Well, it's not a boy, and it's not a girl."
Satan looks frustrated. "THEN WHAT IS IT?!?!?"
The doctor looks up. "It's a goose."
What do you call a blonde in the freezer?
Her parents named her Cindy, so we should probably continue to call her that. She was supposed to graduate tomorrow.
Why did the lion always lose at poker?
He was playing with a bunch of cheetahs.
Why did Bob fall off the swing while playing? Because he had no arms.
Knock, knock. Who's there?
Not Bob.
Why was the boy crying?
He had a frog stapled to his face.
My doctor said, "You have 1 year to live."
I said, "You wanna bet?"
Bam, a gunshot!
Q: How do you make a pool table laugh?
A: Tickle its balls.
Is it bad to hit an orphan?
It's not like they'll tell their parents.
What do you call a woman with three boobs? Tres leches.
My old platoon sergeant always told me the hardest thing when walking through a field of dead babies was... his cock.
What do cigarettes and hamsters have in common?
They can both be dangerous when you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire.
Two girls have a sleepover.
Karen: Let's go to bed.
Lauren: Fine, but it's early.
*Karen wakes up and exits room*
*Lauren hears noise*
Mikey: You're so much better than my girlfriend, Karen.
Lauren: *laughs*
Lauren: *remembers her boyfriend is Karen's brother, Mikey*
John: Hi, boss, it is raining heavily today, so I will not be coming.
Boss: You stated in your job application that swimming was your hobby, so see you at 11 AM.
Why do ducks have feathers?
To cover their butt, quack!
Chuck Norris doesn't get sun burns. The sun knows better.
Jack and Jill went up the Jill so Jack could lick Jill's fanny, but Jack had a shock with a mouthful of cock because was actually a tranny.