Worst Jokes Ever
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What does it sound like when a dragon sings? A fire alarm.
Why did the silly boy take the Christmas tree to a barber?
Because his mother said it needed to be trimmed.
Why did the guitarist get fired as a carpenter? He was shredding the floor...
When you’re fucking your boss and realize it’s a family business.
What is worse than 16 babies in 16 dumpsters? One baby in 16 dumpsters.
Some people ask why jokes exist. I say, when a mommy and daddy love each other very much, they have sex, and they make another one of you.
Son: Hey Dad, what's an alcoholic?
Dad: Well son, do you see those 4 cars? An alcoholic would see 8.
Son: Dad, there are only 2 cars.
What's the point of hiding the screaming speed bump you ran over? You might as well hit it again to A: Stop the screaming. B: Make it look like an actual speed bump. And C... You think it's hilarious the noise it makes when you ran over its stomach.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to find their dad again.
What's the best thing about midgets??
They don't need to bend while giving blowjobs.
Why was the staircase so sad?
Because everyone walks on them.
What do you call a kid watching Star Wars by themselves?
Hans Solo.
I can't decide which side to take on abortion; on one hand it kills babies and on the other it gives women a choice...
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Seven’s been worried about six even since he left Afghanistan. Every time 6 closes his eyes, he sees the war and hears the gunshots. He sees the blood, the killing, the death, and soldiers falling. When he looks at seven, he remembers when they were forced to eat their own flesh to not starve in those caves. He sees the war and the flashbacks will come back forever, burned into his soul and mind.
If we're all God's children, what's so special about Jesus?
What was the last thing that went through Princess Diana's mind?
The steering wheel.
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in a pile of leaves? Russel.
If somebody cuts their leg off and hits you with it, would they be kicking or hitting you?
What's worse than 1000 dead babies hanging off a tree?
1 dead baby hanging off 1000 trees.