Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

They told me throwing babies was bad, but guess what I did yesterday? I threw my baby cousin down the escalator.

What’s the speed limit in bed?

It’s 68. Once you hit 69, you have to turn back around.

Everybody was kung flu dying.

It traveled as fast as lightning.

2020 was expert timing.

In fact, it was a little bit frightening.

Me dozing off while driving.

Everyone else on the passenger plane: September 11, 2001.

When his dick is really, really small, but you pretend it is so big it hurts so you don’t make him feel bad 'cause he is a nice guy.

A man from France, a man from Britain, and a man from New York are on an expedition to the Amazon Forest. After a while, they get lost. As they are walking, suddenly the bushes jump up into the air, and men with spears are there.

One man says, "Hey, you're in our sacred land. So, what we are going to do is skin you and then use your flesh to make canoes. But we aren’t that crazy, so we will let you choose how you die."

The man from France said, "Bring me the poison."

The man from Britain said, "Bring me the gun."

And the man from New York said, "Bring me a fork."

The guy was confused with the fork but still brought the items and gave them to them. The guy from France said, “For France!” and drank the poison and died. The man from Britain said, “Long live the Queen!” and shot himself and died. And the man from New York started stabbing himself with the fork and said, “MAKE A CANOE OUT OF THIS YOU FUCKERS!”

Even people who are good for nothing have the capacity to bring a smile to your face, like when you push them down the stairs.

Apple made a new product for Chinese people called the iOpener.

My girlfriend broke up with me, so I took her wheelchair. Guess who came crawling back?

Why do cow milking stools only have three legs?

Because the cow has the udder!