Worst Jokes Ever
How did your dad come back with the milk? The Milky Way.
It's funny how you feel so alone with depression, and yet once you tell people on some random website, so many people relate. Unfortunately, it doesn't stop the loneliness.
My ex keeps missing me. But her aim is steadily improving...
I'm reading this book in braille right now, and I know something's gonna happen, I can just feel it.
How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they just sit in the dark and bitch.
I tore up my homework, but then I replaced it with this copy. It may look like it, but trust me, it's different! The answers ARE RIGHT, better than left!
What do you call a decapitated politician?
A severed head of state.
Teacher: "You know you can't sleep in my class."
Boy: "I know. Maybe if you were a little quieter, I could."
What do you call the worst joke ever?
Well, according to my mom, I am.
So, I heard Bounty, the maker of paper towels, has decided to get into the Male Enhancement business...
...their new slogan?
The Quicker Pecker Upper.
What's yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of kids.
My sister gives her hamster to my brother since she thinks I'm irresponsible, so I throw it out the window.
What did the trans woman say after finally telling her parents about her surgeries?
“It felt really good to get that off my chest.”
How do you punish blind kids?
Put them in a round room and tell them to sit in the corner.
My girlfriend dumped me today. Apparently, I don't stand up for her in fights. I don't care. She used to push me around all the time.
The cheetah had a race with a lion, and the cheetah won.
The lion was like, "Why you always a cheetah?"
The cheetah was like, "Why you always lion (lying)?"
Nobody:
Michael Jackson: giving kids a free cream pie.
What does one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?
"If we don’t get some support people will think we are ball sacks..."
My aunt visited and saw all of the stuff around the house my mom had kept over the years and said, "If you have something that no one likes, and it only makes people upset, or it's useless, throw it away."
The next time my aunt visited, she said, "Where is your daughter?"
My mom said, "I took your advice."
What's worse than placing 10 babies in a trash can?
Placing 1 baby in 10 trash cans...