Are you George Floyd?
Cause you take my breath away! 😮💨
Worst Jokes Ever
Why do Swedish warships have barcodes on them?
So that when they return to port, they can Scandinavian.
What do Olympic sprinters eat before a race?
Nothing. They fast!
The worst joke ever.
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9.
Why was 9 thankful to 6? Because 6 8 7 2.
What does one orphan say to another orphan on Opposite Day? "Do you want to go home?"
Parallel lines have so much in common, it’s a shame they’ll never meet.
One day a man dies and goes to heaven. He gets there and sees a bunch of clocks. He asks Jesus, "Hey, what are the clocks for?" Jesus replies, "They move every time you sin." "This is Mother Teresa's, it has not moved so she has not sinned." "This one is Abraham Lincoln's, it has moved twice so he sinned twice." The man asks, "Where is Joe Biden's?" Jesus replies, "It's in my office-- I'm using it as a ceiling fan."
What's the difference between twin towers and McDonald's?
One had a drive thru and the other had a fly thru.
How did Hitler tie his tiny little shoesies?
With tiny little Nazis.
Yo mama so fat, I took a picture of her and she was on both sides of it.
What is a paedophile's favorite thing about Halloween?
Free delivery XD
What do you call a sad strawberry?
A blueberry.
Why do kids like Michael Jackson so much?
Because he's made out of plastic, and that's what toys are made out of! 😂
Roses are red, violets are blue, I don't wanna say this, but nobody cares about you.
Literally every movie:
"I love you." "I love you, too."
My life:
My 'friends': "Hey, Hailey likes you!" Him: "Wtf, I have a girlfriend, sorry not sorry." His friends: Spreads the word throughout the whole goddamn country. 😶
The mirror says: "If you break me, you will have 3 years of bad luck."
The Magic Jewel says: "If you break me, you will have 10 years of bad luck."
The condom just sitting there laughing.
What is an orphan's favorite store?
Home Depot.
Why can't orphans be gay?
Because they have no one to call daddy.
There is this cute Russian girl in my class, yet she hasn't asked me out for vodka.
My eggs are just like my dad... nonegg-istent.
