My battery lasted longer than your sad, depressing life.
Worst Jokes Ever
Why don’t you see gay orphans at a daycare?
They have no one to call "daddy."
Why do nuns not wear bras?
God supports everything.
What's the difference between WW2 kamikaze planes and 9/11?
One of the missions succeeded.
When you realize you forgot to mop your room, you hear footsteps.
The good thing about being gay in school is that you can be the best student and still get all the D's.
What time is it when it turns 13 o'clock?
Time to get a new watch.
Give a man fire, and he'll be warm for a day.
Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
Why does a milking stool have 3 legs?
Because the cow has the udder one.
Your kid is so annoying, he makes his Happy Meal cry.
Those rape alarms give you a headache, don't they?
What does Michael Jackson and Jeffery Dahmer have in common?
They both enjoy kids' company.
Why is America so bad at chess?
They lost both of their towers.
What do Star Trek and toilet paper have in common?
Both fly around Uranus and wipe out Klingons!
Why don’t cows have any money?
Because farmers milk them dry.
1. You can't wash your eyes with soap.
2. You can't count your hair.
3. You can't breathe through your nose with your tongue out.
4. You just tried number three.
5. When you tried number 3, you realized it was possible, only you look like a dog.
6. You're smiling right now because you realized you were fooled.
7. You skipped number 5.
8. You just checked if there was a number 5.
9. This is not my joke; all credit goes to Steps.
Every time someone calls me fat, I get so depressed I cut myself... a piece of cake.
When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don’t find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on dates.
- Got myself a bathroom scale so now I know exactly how much I poop.
- Right. So you weigh yourself before and after you poop and calculate the difference? That’s cool.
- Oh...that might actually be even easier.
How are apples and orphans different?
Apples get picked.
