Worst Jokes Ever
"I'm sorry" and "my bad" mean the same thing, unless you're at a funeral.
What you breathe in is called oxygen, otherwise known as, "African food".
If you give a dwarf 5-Hour Energy, will it become 10-hour Energy?
Fat people are the reason we have double doors.
Yo mamma is so dumb that she smokes to burn calories!
Girl, are you a rope? Because I want to hang with you.
Did you hear about the dyslexic American police officer?
He shot a Ginger.
How do you restrain a straight person? Give them a straight jacket.
How do you restrain a trans person? Make the trans vest tight.
What is a government mandate?
When Obama and Biden go out to dinner together.
What did the trans woman say after finally telling her parents about her surgeries?
“It felt really good to get that off my chest.”
A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?" The dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me capitalism. Your mother, she's the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the government. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you the people. The nanny, we'll consider her the working class. And your baby brother, we'll call him the future. Now, think about that and see if that makes sense."
The little boy goes off to bed thinking about what dad had said. Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has soiled his diaper. The little boy goes to his parents' room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed.
The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now." The father says, "Good son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about."
The little boy replies, "Well, while capitalism is screwing the working class, the government is sound asleep, the people are being ignored and the future is in deep shit."
How do you punish blind kids?
Put them in a round room and tell them to sit in the corner.
A fat person with autism is a bit like decent sunscreen... A broad spectrum.
What's the difference between sex and mental illness?
Most of Reddit has experienced mental illness.
What is the difference between the government and organized crime?
Only one of them is organized.
What do you call a race car driver with Down syndrome? Down shift.
What did one gay sperm say to the other? "You think we’ll find the egg and all this shit?"
Why don’t cheetahs get married?
They always cheat on each other.
Call of Duty kill cam be like.
This is the best kill streak ever!
"Your ass must be jealous of all that shit that comes out of your mouth."