Worst Jokes Ever

What do you do when an epileptic has a seizure in a bathtub?

Throw them some laundry.

What’s the difference between black matter and Black Lives Matter?

Black matter leaves an impact.

I heard Pixar is releasing a new movie.

It’s called Finding Chemo.

What does a Travis Scott concert and the Titanic cabin have in common? The music doesn’t stop when people start dying.

What did one gay sperm say to the other? "You think we’ll find the egg and all this shit?"

What do you call a dog with no legs? Call him whatever you want, he's not coming.

I wanted to make a joke about homework, but sadly, I'm an orphan.

How does the next train stop for a depressive person? Death.

If you were driving when all of a sudden a young kid and an old man run right in front of you, what do you hit?

The brakes, you sick bastard.

I kicked a ball into someone. Now I got a red card.

"I met a girl and she's 28."

"Now I'm the coolest guy in all of 8th grade."

- AJR

I asked, "Where are your parents?" and oh god, I love working at an orphanage.

I'm on a seafood diet, I see food and I eat it.

I don't get it.

Orphans are very religious, well mostly. Statistics say that roughly 2/3 of the orphan population go to church. I mean it's the only place they can call someone "father".

What is an orphan's favorite song? "Lost Boy."

What is the difference between a baby and a canoe?

I would never put a canoe in my garage.

"Your ass must be jealous of all that shit that comes out of your mouth."

Do you wanna know how I recently seduced an obese woman? Actually, it was a piece of cake.

Guys, we need to stop making jokes about orphans. Their parents might get upset. Oh, wait... never mind.

Yah, hurtful towards you. Bro took it personally, literally.