Worst Jokes Ever
I helped my son (who is missing his arms) unwrap his Christmas present. The ungrateful bastard just sits there and cries, and it's a pair of mittens. The ungrateful bastard is just sitting there, crying.
Mom, can I please go out and play?
... no answer.
Q: What's a pedophile's favorite thing about Halloween?
A: Free delivery.
Yo mama's so stupid, she got hit by a parked car.
Trevor Bauer for President.
Why do cats leave scratches on arms? They don't; I do it myself.
What happened after Technoblade died?
Everyone got raw pork chop.
I still remember my grandpa's last words, "Stop wobbling the ladder, you cunt!"
Give a man a plane ticket, he’ll fly for a day. Push a man out of a plane flying 10,000 miles up, he’ll fly for the rest of his life.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them.
What's so great about dead baby jokes? They never get old.
Why does the queen move more than a king on the chessboard?
Because it looks like a kitchen floor.
I'll never forget my Grandad's last words... "Son, where did you get a grenade from?!"
There are two types of people in Alabama: the orphans and the incests.
Why do we tell actors to "break a leg"?
Because every scene has a cast!
When you're the only one bullying the weird kid and you're absent on the day he shoots up the school. ̄\_(ツ)_/ ̄
My dad coming back.
9/11 wasn’t a terrorist attack, it was the world’s introduction to Sky Football
A blind woman tells her boyfriend that she’s seeing someone. It’s either terrible news or great news.
What body part do pigs have that humans don’t have?
A hambone.
A man got fired from the first coin factory. He exclaimed, "No! This is the only thing that's ever made cents!"