Worst Jokes Ever
My girl is so cute when she sleeps. I watch her all the time... Tomorrow I might say hi to her for the first time.
I'm starting a clown shoe store.
It's no small feat! :oD
The next sentence is telling the truth. The previous sentence is telling a lie.
The shovel is a ground breaking invention.
*Slaps and laughs*
Why was the blunt pencil bad at making speeches? It never had a point.
What's the opposite of Christopher Reeves?
Christopher Walken.
If at first you don't succeed,
Maybe Russian Roulette isn't for you.
What bird doesn’t need a comb?
Bald eagles.
What animal is good at baseball?
A bat!
Why wasn’t the moon hungry?
Because it was full!
Jeff, did you hear they're making a film about Jimmy Savile? It’s a very touchy subject.
Yeah, I did, Gary, but did you hear the reviews on the Bill Cosby film? People said it was so boring it put them to sleep.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Olive.
Olive who?
Olive you ♥️.
Some people can juggle chainsaws. Chuck Norris can juggle people juggling chainsaws.
What's the difference between an in-law and an outlaw?
An outlaw is wanted.
I did so much research that I got bone-tired from doing this, tibia honest. You probably didn't find that humerus. I got a skeleton of these puns. I guess I could learn a femur puns. I was wondering if the creators of this site could talus how they come up with puns or maybe give some advice? I'm only 14 years old.
"Why did Susie fall off the swing?" "Because she had no arms."
"Why couldn’t she get up off the ground?" "Because she had no friends."
"Knock knock." "Who’s there?" "Not Susie, she’s still on the ground."
"Where did Susie go when the bomb went off?" "Everywhere."
"Why couldn’t Susie scratch her leg?" "Because it was in a different body bag."
"Why did Susie drop her ice cream?" "She was hit by a bus."
"Why did Susie fall off the swing?" "Someone threw a refrigerator at her."
At least Africans don't have to worry about food critics.
I bought shoes from a drug dealer yesterday. I don't know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day.
What did the North tower say to the south tower? "Sorry, can't talk, got to catch a plane."
A kid milks a cow and goes to school and tells his friends, "I milked a cow, and it took awhile for it to warm up." His brother came over and said, "We don't have cows, we have bulls."