Worst Jokes Ever
Trying to make a baby talk is like trying to negotiate with North Korea.
Why did the lion lose the race? Because he was playing with a cheetah.
My sister argued with me that you can't make a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen her face when I drove pasta!
Mother, “Johnny, if you keep being this naughty, you’ll get kids who will be very naughty to you!”
Johnny, “Oh mom, you just betrayed yourself there, didn’t you?”
Me: Have you seen the movie Constipation?
You: No.
Me: Because it hasn’t come out yet! ERMINER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I ran into a dwarf and he said: "Well, I’m not Happy."
Then which one are you?
Why don't oysters share their pearls?
Because they're shellfish!
It's not rape if she doesn't say no.
Two options: - Chloroform. - Duct Tape.
Two skeleton brothers are talking.
1st bro: "Hey, get up! You and do some exercise! You are so heavy, you weigh a ton!"
2nd bro: "A skele-TON :)"
How do you stop a baby from drowning? pt. 2
-Harpoon it.
Life is like a penis. Long, free, flowing, and soft, until a woman comes and makes it hard. 😉
Damn, bitch, you got a big ass for a head!
An obese, depressed mother is trying to tie a noose, but can't reach it, so she calls her son for help.
*A few minutes later*
son: There.
mother: Where did you learn to tie such a good noose?
son: Dad showed me before he died.
mother: DAMN HIM TO HE- *slips and the noose chokes her to death*
What's an African's favorite sport to play, but they can't? Water polo.
A man goes to the library to find the best book about committing suicide. So when he asks the librarian, "What's the best book on committing suicide?" The librarian said, "Oh, fuck off...you won't bring it back anyway."
Yo mama so fat, Thanos had to snap twice.
What do you call a Muslim who owns 6 goats? -- A pimp.
James: I have a joke. Sex!
Ronny: I don't get it.
James: Exactly.
How do you blow up an Indian person?
You press the red button.
How did the octopus go to the war?
Well armed.