Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call a blind German? A Nazi (Not-see)!
Kenny was into incest until his mom died.
Now he's into necrophilia.
How is the world like dirt?
Because we don't think twice about it.
Sally threw herself a birthday party, and only one person showed up. Who is it?
The grim reaper.
Why can't you tell anyone about space?
Because it's too out of this world!
What’d the fox say when he was asked to describe his wife?
“Hottie hottie hottie hoe!”
A guy meets a sex worker in a bar. She says, “This is your lucky night. I’ve got a special game for you. I’ll do absolutely anything you want for £300 as long as you can say it in three words.” The guy replies, “Hey, why not?” He pulls his wallet out of his pocket and lays £300 on the bar, and says slowly, “Paint...my....house.”
Knock knock! Who's there? King Tut! King Tut who? King Tutty Fried Chicken!
I’ll never forget my Granddad’s last words to me just before he died.
“Are you still holding the ladder?”
If Canadians speak "English Eh?", do Americans speak "English B?"
Why can't depressed kids high five a tree? It will leave them hanging.
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they can't find home!
A serial killer was at my house and killed all my family but me. Why? I was in the living room.
What do sloths and depressed people have in common? They both hang off trees.
What is a group of depressed kids called? The suicide squad.
You’re Russian when you go to the bathroom and Finnish when you come out. What are you in the bathroom?
European.
A miscarriage always brings the child out in me.
Bin Laden promised 76 virgins to Al-Qaeda.
Instead, there was one 76-year-old virgin.
Me and my little brother were playing Call Of Duty. He wasn't doing very good, so I told him so. My brother said to me, "At least I don't have to camp in order to get kills." I then responded with, "I would call you cancer, but at least cancer kills."
What goes black, white, black, white, down a hill?
A fat nun.
Why does Stephen Hawking do one-liners? -- Because he can't do stand up.
School reminds me of a penis. It's long and hard unless you're Asian.
Q: Why did the two gate-builders start fighting?
A: Because they were fencing.
How did I escape from Iraq, Iran?