Worst Jokes Ever

When David lost his ID, I called him Dave. Where did Dave go during the bombing? Everywhere. Guess who came crawling back?

What type of car did Hitler drive? A gas-guzzler.

Why do orphans suck at GTA? Because they don't know how to be wanted.

Are you bleach? Because I want you inside of me.

My life is so sad it's because you're in it.

What is it called when a depressed person gets a stroke?

A stroke of luck :)

How do you keep your friends from boring you with pictures of their children?

Every time they show you a new one, you say, "Oh FUCK yeah!"

What's a pirate's favorite key on the keyboard?

Others: R.

Rrrr, you would think so, but it be the C.

What is an orphan's least favorite TV show?

Family Feud.

What did Bonnie say to Chica?

"Go kill yourself, dumbass bitch."

Night chat. #love you forever maybe until I die! 🌸

Question: What happened to the depressed kid who tried to high five a tree?

Answer: He was left hanging.

How many women does it take to change a lightbulb? All of them if you keep reloading.

What's a fish's least favorite instrument?

A ClariNET!

Why can't an orphan play baseball or softball?

They can't find home. 🤣

How did I get to Iraq? I ran.

So I went to the binoculars shop the other day. Tell you what, they saw me coming.

Make sense of what I am saying, This is a LIE—and that's the TRUTH.

What am I?

Answer: a Riddle.

My parents told me I was born on the highway.

Apparently that’s where most accidents happen.

I was sitting in math class, and our teacher doesn't like it if we don't work on math in his class. So, I did science homework on top of a math book.