Worst Jokes Ever

Teacher: "You know you can't sleep in my class."

Boy: "I know. Maybe if you were a little quieter, I could."

So, I heard Bounty, the maker of paper towels, has decided to get into the Male Enhancement business...

...their new slogan?

The Quicker Pecker Upper.

How does the next train stop for a depressive person? Death.

What is an orphan's favorite song? "Lost Boy."

Yah, hurtful towards you. Bro took it personally, literally.

Guys, we need to stop making jokes about orphans. Their parents might get upset. Oh, wait... never mind.

It's funny how you feel so alone with depression, and yet once you tell people on some random website, so many people relate. Unfortunately, it doesn't stop the loneliness.

What's yellow and can't swim?

A bus full of kids.

I tore up my homework, but then I replaced it with this copy. It may look like it, but trust me, it's different! The answers ARE RIGHT, better than left!

I'm reading this book in braille right now, and I know something's gonna happen, I can just feel it.

My ex keeps missing me. But her aim is steadily improving...

What do you call a decapitated politician?

A severed head of state.

How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they just sit in the dark and bitch.

What do you call the worst joke ever?

Well, according to my mom, I am.

Yo mama's so dumb, she waited until the stop sign turned blue.

Yo mama's so fat, when she got pregnant, she fell to the earth's core.

What does a pregnant slave and a payless sale have in common?

Buy one, get one free.

What is a government mandate?

When Obama and Biden go out to dinner together.

What does a Travis Scott concert and the Titanic cabin have in common? The music doesn’t stop when people start dying.

I heard Pixar is releasing a new movie.

It’s called Finding Chemo.

What do you do when an epileptic has a seizure in a bathtub?

Throw them some laundry.