Worst Jokes Ever
One time my dad was an orphan, so I questioned where he learned to parent.
Why are Black people getting stronger?
Because the TVs are getting bigger.
How do you know it’s a gay guy’s birthday?
Depends how hard they blow out the candles.
What's yellow and can't swim?
A bus full of children.
Would masturbating while smoking weed be considered masturblazing, weedwhacking, or highjacking?
When you were supposed to help the depressed kid, but not "help" the depressed kid.
Those rape alarms give you a headache, don't they?
The good thing about being gay in school is that you can be the best student and still get all the D's.
When you realize you forgot to mop your room, you hear footsteps.
My battery lasted longer than your sad, depressing life.
Give a man fire, and he'll be warm for a day.
Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
Why do nuns not wear bras?
God supports everything.
What's the difference between WW2 kamikaze planes and 9/11?
One of the missions succeeded.
Why don’t you see gay orphans at a daycare?
They have no one to call "daddy."
- Got myself a bathroom scale so now I know exactly how much I poop.
- Right. So you weigh yourself before and after you poop and calculate the difference? That’s cool.
- Oh...that might actually be even easier.
School teacher: "Hey kid, why don't you just go home to your family?"
Orphan: "My family never came back for me."
School teacher: "Your daddy must've really needed that milk."
What time is it when it turns 13 o'clock?
Time to get a new watch.
Why does a milking stool have 3 legs?
Because the cow has the udder one.
Your kid is so annoying, he makes his Happy Meal cry.
What do Star Trek and toilet paper have in common?
Both fly around Uranus and wipe out Klingons!