Worst Jokes Ever
Q: What comes before 47?
A: AK
Why can orphans never be kidnapped?
No one can tell them that "your parents said that they would be delayed and I was told to pick you up."
Your mama is so stupid, she bought tickets for Xbox Live.
Rizz,
Are you a biographer? Cause I picture us together.
Can I take a picture of you for I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?
No pen, no paper, you still draw my attention.
You know what I hate about math? They always talk about x and y, but not about u and i.
Kurt Cobain didn't mean to kill himself. He was just so high he thought the shotgun was a bong.
His lyrics are so ironic but so true. "I'm not coming back". "I swear I don't have a gun."
I'm shocked that Kanye West never tried to get Carrie Underwood's number after Carrie starred in a pro-Aryan ad for Almay.
With numerous reports of Donald Trump's odor and Kelly Clarkson's lack of hygienic habits... proof that money doesn't buy cleanliness.
I told myself the other night after a long night at the bar that I should stop drinking.
But why should I listen to a drunk who talks to himself?
My aunt used to say, "Slow and steady wins the race." She died in a fire.
Guys, don’t let nobody hurt you with words.
Like someone once said, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.”
I don't struggle with depression, I'm used to it.
[Them]: "Don't you think you'll feel ashamed of all the suicide jokes you've made when you get older?"
[Me]: "When I what?" 0-0
Why does the Norway navy have barcodes on the sides of their ships?
So when they return to port, they can Scandinavian.
You know what I saw today?
Everything I looked at.
One hat told another hat to stay behind, and he will go on a-head.
How do you know you’re ugly?
If you always get handed the camera for group photos.
Why did Hitler turn to genocide after a failed career as an artist?
He never learned to mix the colors.
I parked in a disabled space today...
...and a traffic warden shouted to me, “Oi, what's your disability?” I said “Tourettes! Now fuck off!”
I won the lottery for a million dollars today, so I decided to donate a quarter of it to charity.
I now have $999,999.75.
Why was Stephen Hawking's wife mad at him?
She caught him having an affair with his shoulder.