Worst Jokes Ever
A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert. They found a lamp and rubbed it. A genie popped out and granted them each one wish. The redhead wished to be back home. Poof! She was back home. The brunette wished to be at home with her family. Poof! She was back home with her family. The blonde said, "Awwww, I wish my friends were here."
Go commit Thanos finger snap.
A teacher is doing an experiment about taste. She tells each student to line up so she can give them each a lifesaver, so they can tell her what flavor it is. She gives Suzy a pineapple one. Suzy tries it, says the flavor, and then goes and sits back down. That is the same for everyone, then it is Jhonny's turn. The teacher hands him a honey flavor one. Jhonny chews it for a while, then says,
"Teacher, I don't know what it is.". The teacher tries to give him a hint and says, "it's what your parents call each other when you are asleep". Immediately the boy behind Jhonny screams, "Spit it out Jhonny, it's an asshole!!!"
How many orphans does it take to "test drive" a bus? It depends on how much space the orphanage has and how much space the cemetery has.
What is the difference between a baby and a watermelon?
One is a refreshing summertime snack; the other one is a watermelon.
Chuck Norris can make a fire with two ice cubes.
Why does the nurse need a red pen?
In case she has to draw blood.
What do you call a plane with no wings? Sally.
what do you call a baby in an oven?
my next meal.
What do you call a patronizing criminal walking down the stairs?
A condescending con descending.
What do you call a boomerang that never comes back?
Daddy.
What did music tell the pancakes? -- B flat.
Rust in peace.
Why do Roman Catholics always call their minister father?
because Roman Catholic men between 18-29 years old received a free anonymous blowjob inside the confessional booth at the glory hole.
what do you call a lazy gay?
someone who comes straight out of the closet, and goes straight to the couch.
Want to hear a joke?
Fortnite.
What do a coin and an Irish man have in common?
They're both fun to flip off.
Did you hear about the blind prostitute?
Well, you gotta hand it to her.
What do you call a kid with no friends?
A Sandy Hook survivor.
Someone at school judged my grammar.
I judged theirs by the terms "school" and "rifle range" being mixed up the next day.