Worst Jokes Ever

What is the difference between the rook and the bishop? The rook goes straight, while the bishop moves diagonally.

Chuck Norris can make a fire with two ice cubes.

What do you call a plane with no wings? Sally.

what do you call a baby in an oven?

my next meal.

What do you call a boomerang that never comes back?

Daddy.

What do you call a patronizing criminal walking down the stairs?

A condescending con descending.

Nevermind, it's retarded.

Rust in peace.

What did music tell the pancakes? -- B flat.

what do you call a lazy gay?

someone who comes straight out of the closet, and goes straight to the couch.

Why do Roman Catholics always call their minister father?

because Roman Catholic men between 18-29 years old received a free anonymous blowjob inside the confessional booth at the glory hole.

Want to hear a joke?

Fortnite.

Did you hear about the blind prostitute?

Well, you gotta hand it to her.

My wife wanted a present that could go from zero to 80 very quickly.

So I got her a new set of bathroom scales.

So, if the reason people used to hang women was because they were seen as witches back in the day, if boys were to be hung, would they be called wizards?

Someone at school judged my grammar.

I judged theirs by the terms "school" and "rifle range" being mixed up the next day.

I was always poked and told at weddings your next...

So I went to funerals and poked them and said your next.....

What does an imouto ride?

Onii-san.

Why do people keep on making jokes about the twin towers?

Because they go down so well.

Scientists say I'm made up of 75% of water.

But after jumping in the ocean, it's 100%, just like my depression.