Worst Jokes Ever
Roses are red. Walls are made of plaster. Schoolchildren can move fast, But bullets can move faster.
What's the most fun a monk can have?
Nun.
Why did the legless kid think he won a race?
Because everybody already left.
Why did Billy not like the soccer ball he got for Christmas?
He has no legs...
Why did Paul Walker cross the road?
He wasn't wearing a seatbelt.
What did Captain Picard say when he brought his sewing machine to the repairman? -- "Make it sew."
Q. What did Hitler give his niece for her birthday?
A. An easy bake oven.
Why did Johnny not like the audiobook he got for his birthday?
Johnny was deaf.
The last words my Dad spoke before he passed was, "Honey put down the knife, we were only talking about getting a divorce."
Chuck Norris: "I block bullets with my beard." Abraham Lincoln: "I catch bullets with my skull."
Why did potassium draw a tear that would result in him crying?
Because all of his friends argon.
Where are you not allowed to go trick or treating as a ghost?
Harlem, New York.
So Santa fell down the chimney, but it was a lit chimney...his name's no longer Santa. It's Crisp Cringle. Pls send help :)
How do you make any salad into a Caesar salad? You stab it 23 times.
A priest asks the convicted murderer at the electric chair, "Do you have any last requests?"
"Yes," replies the murderer, "Can you please hold my hand?"
Two windmills were standing in a wind farm. One asked, "What's your favorite type of music?" The other one replied... "I'm a big metal fan."
Why did Stephen Hawking die? He ran out of data.
How does the bunny keep his fur neat?
With a hare brush.
It's not rape if they can't say no. Duct tape.
If you're ever bored, just rape an orphan! What are they gonna do, tell their parents?