Worst Jokes Ever
Your adopted.
What's better than winning gold at the Paralympics?
Not being retarded.
What does a Mexican Highlander say?
"There can be only Juan!"
What does one math book say to the other? -- "Don't bother me. I've got my own problems!"
An apple a day can do so much more than keep the doctor away... it can keep ANYONE away.
if you throw it hard enough.
What do you call a 3-sum with a girl with AIDS?
Nut in the butt.
Say what you will of pedophiles, but you can't ignore their problem with immature ejaculation.
You wanna know who didn't kick the bucket? Stephen Hawking didn't; nor did he bite the dust.
Why did the bank robber shoot the man with no arms?
Because he told the man to put his hands up.
What did the Indian boy say to his mother as he left for school? -- "Mumbai!"
What's worse than a dead baby?
A pile of dead babies. What's worse than that? The one on the bottom is alive. And what's worst than that is, the baby has to eat its way out.
A child asks his teacher to go to the toilet.
"Before you go, recite the alphabet," the teacher says.
"a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z"
"Good, but where's the p?"
"Running down my leg."
If at first you don't succeed,
Maybe Russian Roulette isn't for you.
What do you call dynamite on steroids? - High Explosive.
Chuck Norris can make an omelet from Kinder surprise.
I laughed when I realized that my suicide letter is way longer than my sibling's college essay.
Emo girls be like: How much am I worth...
Girl, scan the code on your wrist!
How did the cow break up with the other cow? He said he moo-ved on.
I did so much research that I got bone-tired from doing this, tibia honest. You probably didn't find that humerus. I got a skeleton of these puns. I guess I could learn a femur puns. I was wondering if the creators of this site could talus how they come up with puns or maybe give some advice? I'm only 14 years old.
There were 15 ugly guys on a bus. The bus crashed, and they all went to heaven.
God took pity on them and told the ugly dudes they could have one wish. The first guy said, "I want to be handsome." God granted his wish. The second guy said, "I want to be more handsome than the first guy." God granted his wish. The third guy said, "I want to be more handsome than the second guy." God granted his wish, and this continued on and on until the 15th ugly guy. The ugly guy was laughing, really hard. "What is your wish?" God asked him. "I WANT ALL THESE GUYS UGLY AGAIN!!!!!" God granted his wish.