Worst Jokes Ever

Jack and Jill went up a hill so Jack could eat her candy. But Jack got a shock and a mouth full of c*** because Jill's real name is Randy.

What's an emo person's least favorite game? Cut The Rope.

Yo mama is so ugly, her portraits hang themselves.

What's the worst part of a Down Syndrome relationship? There's more downs than ups!

An Irish-man walks out of a bar.

I like my women how I like my wine.

14 years aged and locked in a cellar.

Francis Pope, Donald Trump, Barack Obama, and a little boy were on a falling airplane. There were 3 parachutes. Donald Trump grabs the first parachute and jumps off the plane saying, “The world needs my leadership!” Barack Obama grabs a parachute and says, “I need to help make choices for our world,” so he jumps off the plane. At this point, the Pope and the little boy are on the plane. The Pope says to the boy, “take the last parachute, I am too old and I’m going to die soon one day.” The little boy says, “actually there are two, you see, Donald Trump took my backpack.”

A pirate walked into a bar with his ship's steering wheel hanging off his pants. The bartender says, "Hey! What's with the steering wheel?" The pirate says, "I don't know but it's driving me nuts!"

Yo mama so dumb, she sold her car for gas money.

Yo mama so poor the ducks throw bread at her.

What do you call someone that illegally transports cups? - A s-mug-gler.

When China built the Great Wall, the Mongols invaded them and founded the Yuan dynasty. With Trump building his wall, will the Mexicans invade the US and found the Juan dynasty?

So my mom sent a text saying, "I'm gonna need help carrying groceries when I get back." That was 3 months ago.

What happened to the fly on the toilet seat?

It got pissed off.

Did you hear about the person who invented the door knocker?

He won a no-bell prize.

Baptism, a chance for the priest to bathe you.

What can you tell a dog, but not your girlfriend? Come.

Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building? Of course. The Empire State Building can't jump.

Pickup line; Hey mama, you school? Cuz I'd like to shoot some kids up in you.

*Hears the news about Sandy Hook* Person 1: "God, I can only imagine what was going through those kids' heads in the last moments of their lives..."

Person 2: "Probably Bullets."

Person 1: "OMG!! Can you even think of what their parents are going through?!"

Person 2: "Probably Coffin Brochures."

Person 1: "...."

Person 2: "It's called dark humor. Dark humor is like food, not everyone gets it."

Why were the people in the Twin Towers sad?

They ordered pepperoni pizza, but all they got was plane.