Worst Jokes Ever
Hitler visits a lunatic asylum. The patients give the Hitler salute. As he passes down the line, he comes across a woman who isn't saluting.
"Why are you not saluting like the others?" Hitler barks.
"Mein Führer, I'm the nurse," she responds. "I'm not crazy!"
What would Batman do if he wasn't rich?
He would be robin.
What did the blind man fight in the bar?
The coat rack.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
He lost internet connection.
I heard a joke about heavy metal earlier. It was pretty ironic.
what did the banana say to the banana?
"u look a-pealing"
modern feminism.
What's the hardest thing about being a rapist?
My dick.
Trump's medical records were just released. According to the brain scan, the left side of his brain has nothing right, while the right side has nothing left.
What's the difference between a pizza delivery guy and a cop?
Pizza guys get punished for not doing their jobs properly.
Yesterday in my dream I ate a ten pound marshmallow, when I woke up, my pillow was gone.
Three people died and went to Hell. One of them is from America, the second guy is from Germany, and the third guy is from Afghanistan. The devil lets each person make a phone call to their loved ones in the country they came from, but they will be charged. The American spends 10 minutes on the phone and is charged $20. The German spends 12 minutes on the phone and is charged $24. The man from Afghanistan spends half an hour on the phone and is charged nothing. The other two guys asked the devil why. The devil responded: "Local calls are free."
I was gonna tell a self harm joke, but realized it would cause too much pain.
Why did the OREO go to the dentist?
Because he needed a filling. 😂
I'm not saying I hate you. I'm just saying that if I could go back in time, I'd give your mom a coat hanger.
What’s 12 inches and is moist inside?
My record holding cucumbers, locally grown at my farm.
When earthquakes hit, coffins become maracas underground.
The teacher of the ELA class said that whoever answers this next question gets to go home. Then a kid sitting next to the window threw his bag out the window. Teacher asked who threw that, he said, "Me, I'm going home." Before he could move the teacher pointed a ruler at him and said, "At the end of this ruler is an idiot," he got suspended for asking which end.
What did the pillow say as it fell off the bed?
Oh sheet!
If you want to see my foes, bring a shovel and bring a map and a getaway car just in case we get caught.