Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

I walked in on my dad fucking my little brother. I don't know what was worse: the fact that he was fucking my brother, or the fact that the abortion clinic let my parents take the fetus home....

I parked in a disabled space today...

...and a traffic warden shouted to me, “Oi, what's your disability?” I said “Tourettes! Now fuck off!”

I know you don't like me, and that implies you need better taste.

I'm not an astronomer, but I'm pretty sure the Earth revolves around the sun... not you.

I'd give you a nasty look, but it seems like you've already got one.

Your birth certificate should be rewritten as a letter of apology.

You haven't changed since the last time I saw you. You really should.

I went for a job interview today and the manager said, "We're looking for someone who is responsible."

"Well, I'm your man," I replied. "In my last job, whenever anything went wrong, they said I was responsible."

The way you talk is so slow that they put you in the movie Fast and Furious and changed the title to Slow and Serious!!!😂😂😭

Son: Dad, I think I got a girl pregnant.

Dad: Well, is she already part of the family?

Son: Yes, why?

Dad: Then there’s no need to be worried.

A hamburger walks into a bar.

The bartender says, "I'm sorry. We don't serve food here."

What is sprinkled around the Pokémon floor? Oh right. Ash's ashes.

What's the difference between a cranky two-year-old and a duckling? One is a whiny toddler, and the other is a tiny waddler.

People joke about 9/11, but it's not funny. My dad died in 9/11. Best pilot in Saudi Arabia.