Worst Jokes Ever
What does a phone and a grandma have in common? They both die.
What's the difference between them? If you shove something up your grandma's ass, she won't come back to life.
How do you circumcise a redneck?
You kick his sister in the jaw.
What's the difference between an ISIS training center and a school?
I don't know, I just fly the drone.
what's the difference between an onion and a baby?
nobody cries when you cut up the baby.
What's an alien's favorite computer key?
The space bar!
What do you call Stephen Hawking on Mars? Mars Rover.
There were two peanuts walking down an alley. One was assaulted.
Why is Stephen Hawking good at skateboarding? Because he's always on the ramps.
Yo mama's so old, when she was a girl, rainbows were black and white.
I was rooting for Donald Trump to be president.
We haven't had a presidential assassination in a while.
What do you call a kid who's been kidnapped?
Well, her name's Sally, so I guess... Sally. My main concern is getting her out of the freezer.
What did the green light say to the red light? - Don't look, I'm changing!
I'll never forget how my grandmother died. "This lemonade tastes like bleach..."
What do you call an idiotic cow?
A mis-steak!
Dark jokes are like clean water, not everyone gets it.
What kind of woman does Bill Cosby like the most?
The “cold and passed out” kind.
What's better than sex with your 12 year old sister?
Rolling her over and pretending it's your 10 year old brother.
What do you call a Mexican that hung him self? a pinata
Donald Trump was golfing with Barack Obama. The Donald said, "Listen Barack, I'm getting older and I'm having trouble sexually satisfying my young wife. I know that you black guys are supposed to be magic in bed. Can you give me a few pointers?" Barack gave Donald a few ideas and that night Donald made love to his wife. He did everything he was told. He started out slowly entering his wife gently then finished hard. Melania came quickly screaming. "Oh Donald, You fuck just like Barack Obama."
How do you get bubblegum out of your hair?
Cancer.