Worst Jokes Ever
So I was mining off the coast of Canada and one of my coworkers found gold. I said, "AU, bring that over here!"
I hope when I inevitably choke to death on gummy bears, people just say I was killed by bears and leave it at that.
What's the difference between a feminist and Kim Jong Un?
Kim Jong Un has rights.
Why does Sally have 100 sisters? She lives in an orphanage.
What fruit always feels depressed?
A blueberry.
I don't like 9/11 jokes; they have a tendency to crash and burn.
Your hairline and my grandpa go way back.
A blind guy walks into a bar with his seeing eye dog. He then picks his dog up by the tail and starts to swing him around. The bartender asks him, "Hey man, what the hell you doing?"
Blind guy says, "Just looking around."
A kid is watching TV and sees an ad about adopting an animal. He then turns to his mother and says, “Do we have to adopt a donkey?” “No,” replied the mom, “but we decided to do it... we adopted you.”
Remember kids, when you're angry, burn down an orphanage. Then they'll really be living the hard knock life.
If you are American in the living room, what are you in the bathroom?
Euro-peein'.
What's the last thing that went through John F Kennedy's head?
A bullet.
In America, planes hit the Twin Towers. In Soviet Russia, Twin Towers hit planes.
My nickname should be night light... because kids turn me on...
Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere!
What's worse than Sally in a trash can? Sally in thirteen trash cans.
What rock group has four men that don't sing? -- Mount Rushmore.
What is a terrorist's DJ name?
Osama Spin Laden.
Dropping beats like the Twin Towers.
A man ordered a washing machine because his old one stopped working. As soon as the man opened his new washing machine, he immediately rejoiced because there was a woman inside. Without hesitation, the man yelled, "FREE DISHWASHER!"
If we can't see air, can fish see water?
Yo mama so poor she walked into an elevator and thought it was a mobile home.