Worst Jokes Ever

How did the hillbilly mother find out her daughter entered puberty? Her son's dick tasted funny.

How many gay guys can you fit on a bar stool? Four, just flip it over.

Why didn't the koala make the finals? It got diskoalafied.

Stephen Hawking died because he accidentally lost his bluetooth connection.

Why are blind people so good at being a Jedi?

They are always swinging a stick.

What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with 3 legs?

Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with 2 legs?

Your mom.

Did Jesus die a virgin?

Nah, he got nailed...

Confucius say:

"Man with hole in pocket feel cocky all day."

Santa and Bill Cosby's favorite quote: "Don't be dumb, make sure they're numb, and always use a condom!"

So, a guy is evading the draft. The cops bang on his door, and he runs out the back, through an alleyway onto a road. He finds a nun and asks if he can hide under her blouse. She complies, and the cops walk by and don't see them. The man comes back up from under the nun's blouse and says, "Hey man, you've got a pair of balls!" The nun says, "I didn't wanna be drafted either..."

6:30 has to be the best time, hands down.

The dyslexic devil worshipper sold his soul to Santa.

What's the difference between a Lambo and a boner?

Your sister didn't give me a Lambo.

What do you think is going through kids' heads during school shootings? Bullets.

Place a man in a morgue, he'll try to leave.

Place a doctor in a morgue, he'll go to work.

Place a necrophiliac in a morgue, he'll stay happy for a week.

What do women and airplanes have in common?

A cockpit.

Can February march? -- No, but April may.

My mum told me to stop playing with my sister. She said, "At least wait for her to be born first."

If you are ever bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

A German soldier is walking down the street during a hail storm when a lady suddenly falls over after being hit. He, along with a few others, walk over to her. One man asks, "What happened?" and the soldier replies, "Hail hit her."