Worst Jokes Ever
Jesus took bread and said, "This is my flesh!" Then he took wine and said, "This is my blood!" Then he took mayonnaise, and Peter said, "Holy shit, now we gotta stop him!"
I was talking to my Welsh friend the other day, and he suddenly started talking Welsh to me then collapsed after the first few sentences. Turns out he had a stroke.
Why did Helen Keller ride a broken roller coaster?
She didn't see anything wrong with it.
Why do ballerinas wear tutus?
The one-ones are too small and the three-threes are too big.
Why did the bald man paint rabbits on his head?
Because from a distance, they looked like hare.
Why couldn't the T-Rex clap?
Because he's dead.
Yo mama so stupid that, when she heard about cookies on the internet, she ate her computer.
You know what’s odd?
Every other number.
What is Beethoven doing now?
Decomposing.
All you need is a razor blade in life.
There was an air crash of a Boeing 737-800 which can carry around 300 passengers.
It crashed in a cemetery.
They recovered 500 bodies.
What is Al-Qaeda's favorite football team? The New York Jets.
Why does a movie set say "break a leg"? Because they have a cast.
I went to the National Redhead Meeting yesterday.
Not a soul in sight.
When Stephen Hawking found out about physics, he was speechless.
Why is the sea salty?
Because the land never waves back.
What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
You can unscrew a light bulb.
What place can you always find suicidal cows at?
"McDonald's."
If tomatoes are a fruit, does that mean ketchup is a smoothie?
Two cows standing in a paddock, one says, "Moo." The other turns to him and says, "I was just going to say that!"