Worst Jokes Ever
One day, a snail got robbed by two turtles. Once the cops arrived and asked what had happened, the snail said, "I don't know, it all happened too fast!"
How can you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber?
Ask them to pronounce "unionized".
What's the best part about a dead prostitute?
The second hour is free.
There was a murder. The detective suspected the artist first... because he was sketchy.
I am a big fan of whiteboards. I find them quite re-markable.
On the lines of "I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous,"
I'm dying to live forever!
Did you hear about the two guys who stole a calendar?
No?
They both got six months.
What does a skeleton put on his roof?
Shin-gulls.
Chuck Norris and Medusa had a staring contest. Medusa turned to stone.
How do you win an argument against an emo?
Kick the chair!
Imagine you're playing GTA and you finally found out how to take out a gun: Option 1: shoot someone Option 2: suicide
Me: Aren't they the same thing?
I was going on a date when I decided to put on Penaldo’s PR7 cologne to smell good. As I put on the cologne, my skin started to turn invisible!
I then realized the cologne had made me turn into a ghost 👻. Shame on you, Penaldo, for ruining my date 😡!
Kenny can't find a girlfriend because neither of his sisters can fuck as good as his mom could.
What do you call a group of depressed kids?
Suicide Squad!
Looks like I lost an electron, I should keep a better ion them.
What was Osama Bin Laden's favorite drink?
A Double Manhattan.
What does a priest hold on to when having sex?
He holds on to the schoolbag.
How many Germans does it take to change a light bulb? -- One. They are efficient and don't have humor.
My friend once said my opinion didn't matter. I said, "Why did you call me a female?"
Iran: We can beat the USA.
Japan is typing...