Worst Jokes Ever
Doctor: What makes you feel depressed?
Me: I used to work at the World Trade Center, before the plane hit.
Doctor: A lot of people fell to pieces after that.
On a scale of 1-10, how old was Michael Jackson’s last boyfriend?
you.
A foreign man came to America not knowing a word of English and right away began looking for a job. He became a chorus teacher and learned to say, "Mi-mi-mi-mi-mi!" After that he joined the Army and learned to say, "Yes sir!" After that he worked at a restaurant and learned to say, "Forks and knives, forks and knives!" After that he worked at a candy store and picked up the words, "Goody-goody gumdrops!"
A few weeks later, there was a murder in the area and he was the first person to be interrogated by the police. The interrogation went as follows:
Policeman: "Who killed the man?" Foreign man: "Mi-mi-mi-mi-mi!" Policeman: "Did you kill the man?" Foreign man: "Yes sir!" Policeman: "What did you use to kill him?" Foreign man: "Forks and knives, forks and knives!" Policeman: "You're under arrest." Foreign man: "Goody-goody gumdrops!"
Nevermind, it's retarded.
My conversion therapy done worked. Now I only sleep with my sister and not my brother.
A man is sitting on a bench at a playground where children are playing. A man named Chris comes up and asks, “Which one is yours?” The man said, “I don’t know, I’m still deciding.”
Q: How can you tell that a pedophile likes music?
A: He rapes D minor.
What’s the difference between people and chocolate? I can still buy dark chocolate.
An Irish-man walks out of a bar.
What did the downs kid get on his math test??
Drool.
When Chuck Norris wants to burn calories, he throws fat children into the fire.
A blind man walks into a bar... and a table... and a chair... and the counter.
What is the difference between the rook and the bishop? The rook goes straight, while the bishop moves diagonally.
A wise man once said, "don't think young, think tight." He was a priest.
What do you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
Stop and apply lubrication.
Jesus could walk on water, and Chuck Norris can swim through land.
If Italy attacked France from the rear, would Greece help?
What's an emo person's least favorite game? Cut The Rope.
Why was Stephen Hawking's wife mad at him?
She caught him having an affair with his shoulder.