Worst Jokes Ever
Someone raped my ear, now I have hearing aids.
A rapist walks into a school and asks if they had 5 year olds in the school, and the teacher replies, "Are you that same person who took Jimmy?"
The man replies, "Yes," and the teacher says, "Take Susie too; she's being a little bitch."
How do you escape a French prison?
Yell angrily in German!
Sarah goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?" Sarah waves her hand, "Me, Miss Rogers, me, me!" Miss Rogers says, "All right, Sarah, what is your multi-syllable word?" Sarah says, "Mas-tur-bate." Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, Sarah, that's a mouthful." Sarah says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."
So, you wanna hear a joke about the wall?
... Actually, nah, you won't get over it.
They say string theory is hanging on by a thread.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
There was a power outage.
What do you call a bad amputation?
A rip-off.
My friend: You really need to stop the SH jokes.
Me: But they're not that long.
What's the best thing about dead baby jokes?
They never get old.
I went to a park, then I kicked a ball at a kid in a wheelchair, then screamed "Rocket League!"
Osama Spin Laden, dropping beats like the twin towers.
Why was the cow afraid?
He was a cow herd.
Me: Hey dad, I'm in debt, my dick got cut off, I have depression, and I am suicidal!
Dad: Hi in debt, my dick got cut off, I have depression, and I am suicidal! I'm dad!
Why did Cinderella get kicked out of Disneyland?
Because she sat on Pinocchio's face and said, "Lie, bastard, lie!"
Knock knock. Who's there? Broken pencil. Broken pencil who? Never mind, it was pointless!
If you turn the word "racecar" backwards, it says "racecar".
But if you turn the racecar sideways, you have Paul Walker's blood on your hands.
What does Sonic say when he doesn't want to get caught fucking in public?
Gotta Go Fast!
Why did the pedophile cross the road?
To get to the other preschool.
How do you get more presents from Santa? You tickle his sack.