Worst Jokes Ever
I went trick or treating this year with friends. Good thing I dressed as a zombie...
no one could tell that it was their blood.
How did the dead baby cross the road?
It was strapped to the chicken.
What is the politically correct term for rabbit shit?
Raisins.
I asked a poor old woman if I could take her home. She smiled and said yes. However, the expression on her face soon changed when I started walking away with her cardboard box.
What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?
An apple gets picked.
Yo mama's so fat, when she fell I didn't laugh, but the sidewalk cracked up.
Your forehead is so big that teachers use it as a whiteboard.
I lost at Kahoot, so I had to ka-shoot.
A guy walks into a bar and sees a 1-foot piano player over by the door. He goes over to the bartender, orders a beer, and says, “Man, how’d you get such a short piano player?” The bartender says in response, “There’s a genie in the back of the bar.” The man finishes his beer and runs to the back, looking for the genie. He finds it and says, “I wish for a million bucks.” Suddenly, a million ducks fly out of the bar. The customer looks confused and goes back to the bartender and says, “What just happened?” The bartender replies, “The genie is half deaf, do you really think I’d ask for a 12-inch pianist?”
What do you call a Catholic priest who molests children?
A Catholic priest.
What do you call a joke without a punchline?
Society: :-)
I: :')
Society: you're doing it WRONG. It's :-) not :')
I: :'D
An orphan walks into a supermarket, gets lost and calls for his mum, then remembers.
what do you call a retard smoking weed?
a baked potato.
Why do self-harmers "draw" on their arms?
Because everything they do is in vein.
Punchline: "Vain" sounds similar to "Vein".
Two antennas got married on a roof. The ceremony was horrible, but the reception was great!
I cry a lot for someone who isn’t even properly hydrated.
Welcome back to the hide and seek world championship! Osama Bin Laden vs. Anne Frank!
What is a suicide pack's favorite song?...
Let the bodies hit the floor.
Chuck Norris once said that he didn't like the plane he was riding in. Out of sadness, the plane committed suicide. How, you ask? Ask the Twin Towers.