Worst Jokes Ever
A Mexican runs into a wall, what hits first?
His lawnmower.
Once I went to watch a match in Portugal. It was between Penaldo and his kids. The referee was Georgiana (his wife). Mpaypal and Igayspeed were also there. The match began, and his kids scored two goals in the first 10 minutes. Then, when the match was about to end, Penaldo got angry and asked his wife for penalties. His wife declined, and he tortured and beat her up and took 10 penalties (missed 7 of them) but won 3-2. Shame on you, Penaldo! 😡😡😡
Did you ever think that John F. Kennedy went for a ride in Dallas just to clear his head?
How is having fun with a prostitute like bungee jumping?
You’re dead if the rubber breaks.
Q: Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack?
A: He only comes once a year.
What do you call a fish that smokes? "A puffer."
Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? Yeah, he's all right now.
What did a cannibal have as his last meal?
Five guys.
What do you call a kid with Down syndrome who plays basketball?
Dribble.
Why was Cinderella banned from playing sports? Because she always ran away from the ball.
What do you need in order to crash a train?
A bad track record.
When the school shooter leaves your classroom and the autistic kid’s sketchers light up.
I've decided to marry a pencil. I can't wait to introduce my parents to my bride 2B.
Which sex position produces the ugliest children?
Go ask your mother.
What's worse than a baby in a trash can?
A baby in 10 trash cans.
A baby skunk's mother gets hit by a car, so the baby skunk doesn't know what he is.
So the baby skunk walks up to a baby bunny and asks, "What are you?" The baby bunny replies, "Well, I'm a baby bunny. What are you?" The baby skunk says, "Well, I don't know, am I a baby bunny too?"
The baby bunny says, "No, you're not a baby bunny." So the baby skunk asks, "Well, what am I then?"
The baby bunny replies, "Well, you're not exactly blank and you're not exactly white, so you must be Mexican."
What did one butt cheek say to the other? “Between you and me, it stinks in here!”
My friend was a victim of a school shooting once, but he couldn't tell if they were in the library because of the suppressor on his AR.
I was sitting with my little brother when he was about four-ish. He was starting to really like to identify objects for some reason, so he was showing me his toys. He grabbed his toy Mator truck and then pointed to the wheels, saying, “These are wheels.” I said, “Good job, yes they are.” Then he pointed to the bumper and said, “This is a bumper.” Again, I congratulated him. Then, he grabbed the toy’s wire with the hook at the end and said, “And this is a hooker.” I died laughing.
English is weird. It can be understood through tough, thorough thought, though.