Worst Jokes Ever
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
He lost internet connection.
modern feminism.
What's the hardest thing about being a rapist?
My dick.
Trump's medical records were just released. According to the brain scan, the left side of his brain has nothing right, while the right side has nothing left.
Yesterday in my dream I ate a ten pound marshmallow, when I woke up, my pillow was gone.
Three people died and went to Hell. One of them is from America, the second guy is from Germany, and the third guy is from Afghanistan. The devil lets each person make a phone call to their loved ones in the country they came from, but they will be charged. The American spends 10 minutes on the phone and is charged $20. The German spends 12 minutes on the phone and is charged $24. The man from Afghanistan spends half an hour on the phone and is charged nothing. The other two guys asked the devil why. The devil responded: "Local calls are free."
Your mama is so fat, when she went camping, the bears hid their food from her.
What’s 12 inches and is moist inside?
My record holding cucumbers, locally grown at my farm.
Is it just me, or are magnets really attractive?
I almost had a joke about Parkinson's disease, but I was too shaken up to say it.
Why do people keep on making jokes about the twin towers?
Because they go down so well.
I was gonna tell a self harm joke, but realized it would cause too much pain.
Did you hear about the exciting new drug they developed for lesbians with depression? They call it: TRICOXAGIN.
If you want to see my foes, bring a shovel and bring a map and a getaway car just in case we get caught.
What did the pillow say as it fell off the bed?
Oh sheet!
Why did the OREO go to the dentist?
Because he needed a filling. 😂
I'm not saying I hate you. I'm just saying that if I could go back in time, I'd give your mom a coat hanger.
What's the difference between a mosquito and a blonde? The mosquito stops sucking after you slap it.
A woman comes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, I think I have cancer." The doctor checks it out. "It’s all in your head," the doctor says. "Phew," said the woman. "A bunch of tumors, all in your head."
A guy finds a genie.
He says, "I wish I was better at talking to women."
"Poof!" the genie says, "You're gay!"