Worst Jokes Ever
What was the one word that could have saved Princess Diana's life?
Taxi.
Dad: "Son, does mommy like having lady-friends over?"
Son: "Nah, mostly men."
Dad: "Do you think you'd be comfortable telling that to a judge in court?"
Why don't phones wear glasses? Because they have contacts!
Q: How do you know a wishing well works?
A: If your mother-in-law falls down it.
I like my women how I like my wine.
Aged 9 years and lives in the basement.
What do you call an hourglass with no sand in it?
A waist of time.
Did you hear about the light bulb party? Yeah, it was pretty lit!
Why did the boy throw the clock out the window?
He wanted to see time fly.
Q: What's the difference between a Hispanic and a stoner?
A: Stoners have papers.
How many gay guys can you fit on a bar stool? Four, just flip it over.
The toilet paper tried to cross the road. He couldn't because he was stuck in a crack.
My wife left me for an Indian guy. I know he's going to treat her well, I heard they worship cows.
My friend and I were joking about a kid in a wheelchair, and another kid came up and said to the wheelchair kid, "You should stand up for yourself."
Woman: "I want coffee, black."
Cop: *takes out gun* "WHERE?!"
I don't struggle with depression, I'm used to it.
My math teacher keeps telling me to find his x. It's kinda creepy.
A shark can swim faster than me, but I can run faster than a shark.
So in a triathlon, it would all come down to whoever can ride a bike the fastest.
I wasn't cut out for running today, but those cops came out of nowhere.
Why do I have to go to a shooting range when I can go to school and do it for free?
How do necrophiles get consent? A ouija board.