Worst Jokes Ever
Why do self-harmers "draw" on their arms?
Because everything they do is in vein.
Punchline: "Vain" sounds similar to "Vein".
Welcome back to the hide and seek world championship! Osama Bin Laden vs. Anne Frank!
what do you get when you play a country song backwards? you get your wife, your house, and your kids back.
Two antennas got married on a roof. The ceremony was horrible, but the reception was great!
I cry a lot for someone who isn’t even properly hydrated.
Why are there no Olympics in Mexico?
Because everyone from Mexico that can run, jump, and swim is already over the border.
What is a suicide pack's favorite song?...
Let the bodies hit the floor.
The only time you see a depressed person lifted up is when they hang themselves.
What's the similarity between a Christmas ornament and a person?
They both hang...
Did you hear about the monkeys that share an Amazon account? They were prime mates.
How does a fish always know how much they weigh? -- Because they have their own scales.
Chuck Norris has a bear rug in his living room. It's not dead or anything, it's just too scared to move.
What do you call a Catholic priest who molests children?
A Catholic priest.
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second one orders half a beer. The third one orders a fourth of a beer. The bartender stops them, pours two beers, and says, "You guys should know your limits."
An orphan walks into a supermarket, gets lost and calls for his mum, then remembers.
what do you call a retard smoking weed?
a baked potato.
I lent a hot girl my umbrella yesterday. That takes the number of girls I've made wet this year to -1.
What do jokesters eat for breakfast? Pun-cakes.
Three guys are stranded with cannibals on an island. The cannibals said, "Each one of you come back with 10 pieces of fruit and shove them up your butt showing no emotion." The first guy came back with 10 apples, and by the second one, he started to grunt, so he was killed and eaten.
The second one came back with cherries, and when he went to put the 10th one in, he started to laugh, so he was killed and eaten. The two guys met in heaven, and the first guy said, "Dude, you were so close. What happened?" The second one said, "I would have made it, but I saw the third guy come back with 10 pineapples!!" 😝😝🤣🤣
What do you call a fat girl with a rape whistle?
Optimistic.