Worst Jokes Ever
I ran over an emo yesterday? I wanted to let him see pitch black.
I threw a lamp at an emo? I tried to lighten up his day.
Joe Biden's speeches are so motivational. In fact, I have been stuck at home these past few weeks, and his well articulated words were enough for me to muster up the courage to jump off of a 10 story building.
Why can't dwarfs be depressed?
Because they are compressed.
I was playing Mortal Kombat with my friend when he picked the fighter Pristiano Penaldo. I won and the voice didn't say "Finish him," so I couldn't do a fatality.
I was confused, but I understood that the game didn't let me finish him because he is already finished.
After long consideration, I've decided to get a zebra tattoo on my wrist. Not like anyone will notice the difference.
My favorite toast for parties:
May I be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows I'm dead.
A Mexican runs into a wall, what hits first?
His lawnmower.
Why did the scientist want to take off his doorbell?
Because he wanted to win the no-bell prize.
Radiohead had to remake "Fake Plastic Trees" after encountering Carrie Underwood in real life for the first time.
If I were a history teacher, I’d make the two twins stand up and throw a paper airplane at them.
How is sex like air? It’s not a big deal unless you aren’t getting any.
Why are gay people so bad at math? Because they can't multiply.
You are so ugly, Hello Kitty had to say bye-bye.
Why does Mexico not have an Olympic team? Because everyone who can run, jump, and swim is already in America.
What's the best part about having sex with 28 year olds? There are 20 of them.
What’s the difference between a Ferrari and ten 6-year-olds?
I don’t have a Ferrari in my garage.
Why do feminists eat so much pussy?
To get the taste of dick out of their mouths.
Does it cycle now, you stupid bitches?
Trump is going too far.
He deported a printer because it didn't have papers.
Fortnite is like America... At one time it was good and free. Now it's neither.
Gary and Steve are having sex and the phone rings. Steve goes to answer the phone and tells Gary, "Hey, don't finish yourself until I get back." After returning from the other room, there is cum all over the bed and wall of the bedroom. "Jesus, Gary, I said not to finish yourself until I got back!" Gary turns to him and says, "I didn't, I farted."